Esoteric Wiki - User contributions [en]

Zeit-plucker

2025-09-29T17:24:47Z

Grntbg: Created page with "A '''Zeit-plucker''' is a contraption manufactured by Evil Industries which consists of a pink PaperMate FlexGrip Ultra mechanical pen connected to a Ticonderoga pencil with a broken rubber band. The rubber band is driven into the pencil's eraser head, with the other end being jammed into the mechanical pen's end point. Zeit-pluckers are used by mathematicians and engineers to calculate the inertia of an object using a circular motion."

A '''Zeit-plucker''' is a contraption manufactured by [[Evil Industries]] which consists of a pink [[PaperMate]] FlexGrip Ultra mechanical pen connected to a [[Ticonderoga]] pencil with a broken rubber band. The rubber band is driven into the pencil's eraser head, with the other end being jammed into the mechanical pen's end point.

Zeit-pluckers are used by mathematicians and engineers to calculate the inertia of an object using a circular motion.

Clydemas

2025-09-22T15:01:39Z

Grntbg:

'''Clydemas''' is an annual global holiday with religious origins from [[Homobroism]]. In spite of its widespread celebration as a secular holiday, the vast majority of Homobros treat the occasion as a daylong ritual for embracing [[Clyde Homobro]] and the wisdoms imparted unto him by Mother Earth to be later recorded in the apocryphal text, the [[Book of Clyde]].

==History==
The exact beginnings of Clydemas are unknown, however it is a tradition likely dating to the [[The Book of Clyde|creation of the Book itself]]. "Mainline" Homobros mainly consist of the [[Orthodox Homobro]] sect, with notable members such as [[Julian Homobro]]. Orthodox Homobros are almost unanimously approving of Clydemas, some of whom regard it as the most important religious celebration, even more so than the [[Vigil for the Storm]], which Orthodox sects tend to downplay the religious importance of.

Secular Homobros and pagans (those who believe Clyde to be a deity or of some other divine status, such as the literalist interpretations of the [Clydeian Rouge]) instead consider Clydemas as more of a cultural phenomenon, largely capitalized upon by the market economy to encourage increased levels of spending for the holiday. It is for this reason that more literalist Homobro interpretations, such as the [[Clydeian Rouge]] entirely disavow Clydemas and instead focus upon the [Vigil for the Storm], a religious vigil which they attend in order to try and prevent the return of [[the Storm]].

==Global influence==
In 2024, over $163.7 trillion dollars (AUS) was spent in total among consumers on the week leading up to Clydemas Eve. Electronics purchases were dominated by hot products such as the [[DataLink]] Terminal and [[Gayeso Spam Offices]]' portable, new "Gayeso Portable Spammer," which kids "can't seem to get enough of," according to [[Current TV]]. The second-greatest product category, [[Andy Sixx]]'s logs of shit, caused storewide panics everywhere when distribution issues briefly interrupted new logs from being delivered to grocers. Finally, in the realm of appliances: the consumer couldn't get his hands off of the all-new [[David Machine]] Air, which is 10.6 inches thinner than the last David Machine, all while including double the torque of the previpus model and a ball-dropping wide-angle camera mounted to its base for crisp, uncompromising 4K shots of David's ballsack. (Source: press release from [[David]] himself.)

==In the secular world==
Clydemas' stagnating relevance as a religious tradition has forced some consumers to see it for what it really is—a corporate gimmck. Still, in spite of this appropriation, families can still relive timeless Clydemas traditions, like brapping around the tree as nervous children wait in nervousness to see if they skirted Clyde's naughty list by being lucky enough to receive a copy of [[esoBB]], or perhaps even some plugins stuffed into their Clyde stocking; or, maybe the child is distant with nature and ends up with pieces of Andy's "coal."

===Clydeian response===
No matter what, Clydemas is really about reading those hymns from that ol' Clyde book and remembering the days when our ancestors wore [[peglegs]], battering down hatches. The very nature of this celebration makes it impossible for any corporate monolith to dilute its true meaning.

As [[Julian Homobro]] says, "We haven't felt the Storm for all these centuries because us [[Braapers]] have kept Mother Earth appeased, and this can only done by living in accordance with the Clyde, or Father Farrthe, Saint Braapolas or what have you. This so-called [[global warming]] is actually a wake-up call to all skeptics out there who say there was never any Storm. We have [[historical proof]] that it happened, and signs are beginning to show that there old Storm better be heading yer way if you fall wayside of the Clyde, laddie boy." (The quote was followed by, "Braap," which has been retained to preserve context and accuracy.)

===Inclusive renditions of Clydemas===
The underlying concept of Clydemas as a holiday has in turn inspired the likes of [[Christmas]], [[Festivus]], the ancient [[Yule festival]] and, according to Homobro literalists, first began upon Clyde's birthday (widely believed to be in the month of [[December]]) when a [[Clyde-point star]] crashed into the Braaper sands—also an extremely culturally significant astrological event for them. In the modern-day, Clydemas has been celebrated "inclusively" by treating Clyde's birth as an astrological event rather than a particularly religious one. However, this is much easier for natives fluent in the [[Braaper spoken language]], because Braaper astronomy, including the naming of constellations, takes largely from Homobro mythological tropes.

Straights

2025-09-22T14:46:30Z

Grntbg:

'''The Straights''', or simply '''Straight''' (singular), '''Straightoi'''/'''Straights''' (plural) or '''Straightae''' (as a whole) were a pre-modern seafaring civilization that controlled much of what is now considered to be [[Oceania]], namely most of the Australasian content, from at least the early 6th century AD until the downfall of the last Straightoi colonial outpost in tbe mid-to-late 12th century AD (~1170).

Having existed for roughly 500 years, the Straights' maritime empire capitalized upon the trade of [[Braaper]] parchment, which, as the name suggests, was an expensive form of paper used for fine print because of its high level of absorbance, which made smearing ink more difficult. As such, the Straights' used the wide demand for this product to build their trade influence, which resulted in the enslavement and indenturedness of most Braapers living within their colonies. Over time, however, the thin slicings of the [[Poletree]] plant required to produce large amounts of paper contributed to the plant's weakened resistance to insects, and without the shade afforded by Braaper levies, most paper-making farms were decimated by the 9th century.

The decline of Braaper parchment resulted in drastic changes to the trade dymanic within the region, with the Straights and their coastal empire rapidly shrinking for a couple of centuries until the [[Fall of Straightion]] in year 1121, during which the Braapers sacked the colonial city of [[Straightion]], located at the heart of modern-day [[Central Australia]], now known to its inhabitants as [[Braap Doah]] (''Doah'' is the Braaper word for 'citadel,' with ''Braap Doah'' roughly translating to "Braaper City").

==History==
Since Straightoi civilization spans numerous centuries, it is difficult to piece together an accurate historical chronicle of their civilization without relying upon sources that are directly linked to the [[Homobro]] religion of the Braapers. The earliest known Straightoi civilization emerged either in modern-day [[Tasmania]] or somewhere along the [[Bass Strait]] along the [[Melbourne]] coastline which, at the time, would have probably been devoid of any existing form of civilization in that particular region. There were inhabitants in Tasmania prior to the Straightoi, however very little is known to historians about the nature of pre-Straightae Tasmanian culture.

Ultimately, many historians have come to attribute the rise and fall of the Straights to the enormous surplus in profits brought about by the paper trade, which, over centuries, transformed Straight society into one which institutionalized a racial hierarchy, thereby adopting the ideology that they were genetically superior to their territorial subjects. However, Straight supremacy had always been determined by the Straights' dominance of trade routes, which prioritized the exporting of paper. Straight emphasis on exports probably made their economy completely dependent upon the Braaper colonies, which further contributed to tensions between colonial settlers and the native Braapers. In the 9th century, the prophet [[Clyde Homobro]] spent years travelling to spread his "wisdoms" among his kindred people, which culminated in the Braapers' total rejection of Straight occupation within just one decade.

The known history of Straightoi civilization is commonly cited as historical evidence of the existence of complex maritime trade in this region prior to the direct influence of the Sino-Pacific and European military powers that would not come until the 17th century.

==Religion and cultural practice==
The Straights, who were enthralled with the [[pre-Zernerian]] ritual practices of the [[Xanthian]] religion, a duotheistic belief system. And so, they largely dismissed the cultural significance of Clyde to the Braaper colonies without considering that it would sour colonial attitudes, even for some of the Straights. For example, 10th century Straight emperor [[Huckslin Vagga]], although buried in the Xanthian ritual, was a self-described "student of Clyde" who read the [[Book of Clyde]] on a daily basis, believing the text to contain instructional advice for the future course of the Straights. However, Vagga's only son and heir, [[Beg Begg Huckslin]] was a proponent of traditional Xanthiani and ordered his father be buried accordingly. For decades after the death of Vagga, his sympathetic nature towards Clyde was discarded from the official Straight dynastic histories.

==Etymology==
The word 'straight' is cognate with the Latin word ''stratus'' ("strewn," from ''sternere''), however, there is no direct etymological connection, seeing as it is derived from a written record of a Straightae pronunciation taken by a 15th-century Portugese speaker unfamiliar with their native tongue.

Using the word 'straight' in reference to the Straightoi people is, in fact, an Anglicized version of "steureateai," the Latin parsing of a tribe observed by Portugese wayfarers in the 15th and 16th centuries.

==European discovery==
The ethnic Straightoi have not existed as a substantial ethnic group for almost six centuries, with the last self-titled "Sturhaitagaei" (sometimes used interchangeably with "steureateai" for unclear reasons) being observed only once in passing by Portugese wayfarers and briefly documented by explorer [[Cristóvão de Mendonça]] in his captain's diary, later converted into a memoir. Mendonça, a member of Portugese nobility, thus captured the tribe's name using Latin phoenetics and went on to discuss of their nature amongst other explorers, but with little documentation to this effect.

By modern understanding, no members of the Straightoi could have come into contact with Europeans after Mendoça's expedition, however, the arrival of the British First Fleet in the late 18th century would invite British archaeologists to conduct expeditions across the Australasian continent. It was not until the year 1894 that the [[Horn expedition]] would make the discovery of signs that an antiquated civilization had existed not far from the Braaper colonies, which were well-known to the British at this period. [[Sir Walter Baldwin Spencer]], a British anthropologist, described the prehistoric "straughts" living within small fortifications, making direct reference to Mendonça's text as the historical basis for positing that the civilization had existed for much longer than previously thought, citing archaeological finds which consisted of various tools: a ceramic pot, some shovel-like tools with spearheads, and what Spencer describes as "ornamental imagery carved into short bloques; a unique form of expression indeed."

In the 1929 Angloaustralasian Histories and Archaeology Digest, a page dedicated to the passing of Spencer mentions that "the esteemed, publicly unmistakeable Sir Baldwin Spencer may now rest upon his many collars, one being the first discovery of the now-infamous Straughtae tribesmen and their rather expansive kingdom, which, at Sir's own expense, admits to be more so than previously thought of as such by our cunning scholars." Since Spencer's death, there has been a renewed interest in Straighti archaeological sites, and some historical collectors have pledged efforts to resume excavations, however, the Braapers maintain their ancestral territorial claim to the decimated former constructions; according to one spokesman for the Braaper Historical Society, "Our religious convictions prohibit our local governments from ever allowing for there to be any disturbance of the buried dead, including Straightae. The Clyde taught us to respect all nature."

==Modern influence==
In the modern period, the legacy of the Straights and their all-pervading way of life has greatly influenced culture all throughout the Pacific, with specific regard for Central Australia, which continues to be sparsely populated with Braaper colonies. In [[Braap Doh]], built atop the historical city of Straightion, there is a 115-foot monument to the [[Braaper Uprising]] which depicts Clyde directing the young Braapers to push back Straight legions. In fact, this was an actual historical event in which Braaper students of the Straight colonial institutions successfully pushed approximately 10,000 Straight fraternias (legions) out of the city's walls, after which point the [[Second Braaper Kingdom]] was formally established.

==Cultural references==
[[Clyde Homobro]] directly mentions "the Straights," and the influence between these two historical peoples has a standing influence upon both the religion of [[Homobroism]] and the Clydeo-centric philosophy of the [[Braapers]]. Clyde's interaction with the Straights is often used to characterize the sum of popular Straightoi historical knowledge.

The use of the word "straight" in reference to [[sexual orientation]] originates from its use (originally as ''straught'') to describe Straightoi civilization. This is part of a recurring antithesis within the [[Book of Clyde]] between "straight" and "homo," and this particular Anglicization has become the standard nomenclature within the discipline of [[Braapo-Straightae history]].

Xanthian

2025-09-22T14:42:25Z

Grntbg: Created page with "''This is an article about an '''ancient religion''', not to be confused with Xanthines, a class of natural alkaloid compounds; Xanthic acid, an organic acid, or; Xanthate, a salt made from the acid.'' ''This article is about the Xanthian-Straightae religion of the ancient Straightae Australiasians, not to be confused with the historic Greek city of Xanthia, nor its inhabitants, also known as Xanthians. Please read this article on [..."

''This is an article about an '''ancient religion''', not to be confused with [[Xanthines]], a class of natural alkaloid compounds; [[Xanthic acid]], an organic acid, or; [[Xanthate]], a salt made from the acid.''

''This article is about the Xanthian-Straightae religion of the ancient Straightae Australiasians, not to be confused with the historic [[Greek]] city of Xanthia, nor its inhabitants, also known as [[Xanthians (Grk.)|Xanthians]]. Please read this article on [[Straights|the Straightae]] to learn more.''

The '''Xanthians''' were (predominantly ethnic [[Straights|Straightae]]) followers of an [[esoteric]], pre-historic [[duotheistic]] religion (believing in two deities) associated with the [[Straights]], sometimes referred to by scholars as '''Xanthianism''', or more specifically the '''Xanthian-Straightae''' belief system. Despite being the official state religion of the Straights, most of its inhabitants were of other ethnicities, namely [[Braapers]]. As such, the religion was most likely exclusive to the upper-class of Straightae settlers, meanwhile colonial subjects maintained unique practices.

Xanthian religious and racial philosophies are seemingly intertwined. The Straightae employed a strict racial hierarchy under the central belief that the Straights began as the ancestors of a different biological race, potentially one of celestial origin. However, historians rightfully speculate that many aspects of Xanthian religious practice are simply unknown, with their only known reference as a historical people being within the context of [[Homobroism]], an entirely separate religion. Like the Homobros, Xanthians likely did not have any active distinction between their conception of material and immaterial forms of reality. Instead, physical reality, in similar fashion to the Homobros, is more portrayed as a connection between the individual [[self]] and its external surroundings.

Due to the absence of ''any'' literature to compare directly with [[Homobroism|Homobro]] religious texts, and also the likelihood that the 15th-century Straights practiced a different form of Xanthianism than the religious practices of the Straights mentioned in the [[Book of Clyde]], historians have very little definite knowledge on the details of their religion, let alone an accurate history of its development over time.

==Etymology==
''Xanthian'' was originally used to describe the people of [[Xanthus]], an ancient [[Lycian]] city. In the early 20th century, Straighti religious and cultural practices were heavily scrutinized by British schools of archaeologists in order to conclude that the Straights, unlike most Aborigines, believed in two deities, only one of which is portrayed as humanoid in form.

At the time, archaeologists also believed that the Straights were probably a neighbor civilization of the Braapers, with similar cultural origins. For this reason, the religion began to be termed as ''Xanthian'' sometime between the late 1890's and mid-1900's. This was most likely done in reference to the relationship between the Xanthian and [[Dorian]] peoples of Ancient Greece. (The historical Xanthians are known for their notable degree of [[syncretism]] with other cultures, such as the Persians).

==Symbolism==
20th-century archaeological excavations into historical Straighti sites have revealed two distinct symbols which are found repeatedly throughout various artistic works, and in numerous objects, some of which appear to be commodities rather than practical items.

According to the extent of current historical knowledge, these symbols do not appear within other civilizations, such as that of the [[Braapers]], the only other civilization that is known to have interacted with the Straights for several hundred years. Straights' seemingly dispersed presence amongst Braaper colonies points more towards a racial hierarchy than a shared culture; the exclusivity of Xanthian symbolism appears to support this theory.

The two most commonly referenced symbols are the [[Xanthian swastika]], an equilateral symbol with bent arms (geometrically equivalent to a [[swastika]]) that is consistently depicted as tapering off from each of the arms and spiraling inwards. The other symbol, the [[Xanthian pride flag]], is a rainbow-colored symbol which seemingly portrays a spectrum of the following colors: red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple.

===Brief controversy===
In 2021, a native Aborigine was accused of using these symbols together to incite feelings of shock and anger amongst Australians; he was subsequently relieved of all charges before any preliminary court hearing and subsequently issued an apology by the Office of Prosecutorial Conduct for "such an embarrassing display of gross ignorance on behalf of an eager prosecution."

There is, in fact, none relationship whatsoever between these symbols and the German [[Hakenkruz]] nor the homosexual [[fag flag]], respectively. Instead, history suggests that any such resemblance is a matter of coincidence, as the symbols obtained their meanings independently of each other. And yet, there remain some who claim that 'homobro' and 'straight' were chosen derogatorily, when in fact they were not.

Most ironically, the name Homobro has some etymological relation to the word 'homosexual' (with ''homo'' meaning 'same,' in both cases), however, it is actually based off an archaic, Anglicized spelling of the Braaper word "houmobouera," which itself in a Latinization that, in turn, turned ''houmo'' into 'homo,' and ''bouera'' into the German word ''brüder'' (from ''Homo-breuder'', which continues to be the German language word for the tribe). English archaeologists eventually adopted the word "homobro" after it was shown that the two tribes were not as syncretic as once believed, making the word appropriate (meaning 'same-brothers,' thus entailing their separation from the outside world, perhaps used with some attempt to draw greater media interest).

At the time, the word 'homosexual' had not yet been coined, neither were opposite-sex relationships commonly described as 'straights.' And so, the [[sexual orientations]] named 'homosexual' and 'heterosexual' do not bear any conceivable relation to Xanthian rainbow imagery other than perhaps the Greek root 'homo' itself. There is no historical basis to suggest that the Straights held similar meanings of sexual liberation to the rainbow symbol as do we today, and those suggesting such may either be referring to the Greek city of Xanthia or another historical concept within classical [[antiquity]], ''not'' to be confused with the Xanthian-Straighti religion.

==In modern practice==
Xanthianism has made a small revival amongst the global community in recent times, due to its seemingly unique belief system and the Straights' repeated use of symbols with unknown meanings. Many symbols in the [[Xanthian alphabet]] have been likened to those within the [[Braaper spoken language]] which, in spite of the similarities, bears distinct linguistic differences which make it closer to that of the Aborigines than the proposed language of the Xanthan Straights.

However, revival efforts directed towards the religion are by-and-large unable to provide any significant theology or other religious philosophy with which to defend the small amount of knowledge regarding their symbolism. As such, Xanthianism is regarded more as a superstitious practice than an actual religion, which is much more in keeping with its known remnants.

The radical revolutionary sect of Braapers, known as the [[Commune of Tradition Keepers]], is claimed to make repeated use of Xanthian swastika, used in order to signify their rejection of the traditional Braaper cultural identity; this was done in addition to their disavowal of [[Clyde Homobro]], for which all their communal beliefs are strictly forbidden from the colonies. Interestingly, Xanthian symbolism is not recognizable to most Braapers as having cultural significance, and so it is not at all considered offensive in its own right.

In response to [[Clydeposting]], [[Walter]], among other [[Ezo]] adherents, embedded Xanthian symbolism within some of his works. This was apparently designed to anger the [[Clydeian Rouge]], who consider the Ezo ideology to be blasphemous and intolerable.

Straights

2025-09-22T13:02:13Z

Grntbg:

'''The Straights''', or simply '''Straights''' or '''Straighti''' were a pre-modern seafaring civilization that controlled much of what is now considered to be [[Oceania]], namely most of the Australasian content, from at least the early 6th century AD until the downfall of the last Straighti colonial outpost in tbe mid-to-late 12th century AD (~1170).

Having existed for roughly 500 years, the Straights' maritime empire capitalized upon the trade of [[Braaper]] parchment, which, as the name suggests, was an expensive form of paper used for fine print because of its high level of absorbance, which made smearing ink more difficult. As such, the Straights' used the wide demand for this product to build their trade influence, which resulted in the enslavement and indenturedness of most Braapers living within their colonies. Over time, however, the thin slicings of the [[Poletree]] plant required to produce large amounts of paper contributed to the plant's weakened resistance to insects, and without the shade afforded by Braaper levies, most paper-making farms were decimated by the 9th century.

The decline of Braaper parchment resulted in drastic changes to the trade dymanic within the region, with the Straights and their coastal empire rapidly shrinking for a couple of centuries until the [[Fall of Straightion]] in year 1121, during which the Braapers sacked the colonial city of [[Straightion]], located at the heart of modern-day [[Central Australia]], now known to its inhabitants as [[Braap Doah]] (''Doah'' is the Braaper word for 'citadel,' with ''Braap Doah'' roughly translating to "Braaper City").

==History==
Since Straighti civilization spans numerous centuries, it is difficult to piece together an accurate historical chronicle of their civilization without relying upon sources that are directly linked to the [[Homobro]] religion of the Braapers. The earliest known Straighti civilization emerged either in modern-day [[Tasmania]] or somewhere along the [[Bass Strait]] along the [[Melbourne]] coastline which, at the time, would have probably been devoid of any existing form of civilization in that particular region. There were inhabitants in Tasmania prior to the Straighti, however very little is known to historians about the nature of pre-Straighti Tasmanian culture.

Ultimately, many historians have come to attribute the rise and fall of the Straights to the enormous surplus in profits brought about by the paper trade, which, over centuries, transformed Straight society into one which institutionalized a racial hierarchy, thereby adopting the ideology that they were genetically superior to their territorial subjects. However, Straight supremacy had always been determined by the Straights' dominance of trade routes, which prioritized the exporting of paper. Straight emphasis on exports probably made their economy completely dependent upon the Braaper colonies, which further contributed to tensions between colonial settlers and the native Braapers. In the 9th century, the prophet [[Clyde Homobro]] spent years travelling to spread his "wisdoms" among his kindred people, which culminated in the Braapers' total rejection of Straight occupation within just one decade.

The known history of Straighti civilization is commonly cited as historical evidence of the existence of complex maritime trade in this region prior to the direct influence of the Sino-Pacific and European military powers that would not come until the 17th century.

==Religion and cultural practice==
The Straights, who were enthralled with the [[pre-Zernerian]] ritual practices of the [[Xanthian]] religion, a duotheistic belief system. And so, they largely dismissed the cultural significance of Clyde to the Braaper colonies without considering that it would sour colonial attitudes, even for some of the Straights. For example, 10th century Straight emperor [[Huckslin Vagga]], although buried in the Xanthian ritual, was a self-described "student of Clyde" who read the [[Book of Clyde]] on a daily basis, believing the text to contain instructional advice for the future course of the Straights. However, Vagga's only son and heir, [[Beg Begg Huckslin]] was a proponent of traditional Xanthiani and ordered his father be buried accordingly. For decades after the death of Vagga, his sympathetic nature towards Clyde was discarded from the official Straight dynastic histories.

==Etymology==
The word 'straight' is cognate with the Latin word ''stratus'' ("strewn," from ''sternere''), however, there is no direct etymological connection, seeing as it is derived from a written record of a Straighti-spoken pronunciation taken by a 15th-century Portugese speaker unfamiliar with their native tongue.

Using the word 'straight' in reference to the Straighti people is, in fact, an Anglicized version of "steureateai," the Latin parsing of a tribe observed by Portugese wayfarers in the 15th and 16th centuries.

==European discovery==
The ethnic Straighti have not existed as a substantial ethnic group for almost six centuries, with the last self-titled "Sturhaitagaei" (sometimes used interchangeably with "steureateai" for unclear reasons) being observed only once in passing by Portugese wayfarers and briefly documented by explorer [[Cristóvão de Mendonça]] in his captain's diary, later converted into a memoir. Mendonça, a member of Portugese nobility, thus captured the tribe's name using Latin phoenetics and went on to discuss of their nature amongst other explorers, but with little documentation to this effect.

By modern understanding, no members of the Straighti could have come into contact with Europeans after Mendoça's expedition, however, the arrival of the British First Fleet in the late 18th century would invite British archaeologists to conduct expeditions across the Australasian continent. It was not until the year 1894 that the [[Horn expedition]] would make the discovery of signs that an antiquated civilization had existed not far from the Braaper colonies, which were well-known to the British at this period. [[Sir Walter Baldwin Spencer]], a British anthropologist, described the prehistoric "straughts" living within small fortifications, making direct reference to Mendonça's text as the historical basis for positing that the civilization had existed for much longer than previously thought, citing archaeological finds which consisted of various tools: a ceramic pot, some shovel-like tools with spearheads, and what Spencer describes as "ornamental imagery carved into short bloques; a unique form of expression indeed."

In the 1929 Angloaustralasian Histories and Archaeology Digest, a page dedicated to the passing of Spencer mentions that "the esteemed, publicly unmistakeable Sir Baldwin Spencer may now rest upon his many collars, one being the first discovery of the now-infamous Straughtae tribesmen and their rather expansive kingdom, which, at Sir's own expense, admits to be more so than previously thought of as such by our cunning scholars." Since Spencer's death, there has been a renewed interest in Straighti archaeological sites, and some historical collectors have pledged efforts to resume excavations, however, the Braapers maintain their ancestral territorial claim to the decimated former constructions; according to one spokesman for the Braaper Historical Society, "Our religious convictions prohibit our local governments from ever allowing for there to be any disturbance of the buried dead, including Straightae. The Clyde taught us to respect all nature."

==Modern influence==
In the modern period, the legacy of the Straights and their all-pervading way of life has greatly influenced culture all throughout the Pacific, with specific regard for Central Australia, which continues to be sparsely populated with Braaper colonies. In [[Braap Doh]], built atop the historical city of Straightion, there is a 115-foot monument to the [[Braaper Uprising]] which depicts Clyde directing the young Braapers to push back Straight legions. In fact, this was an actual historical event in which Braaper students of the Straight colonial institutions successfully pushed approximately 10,000 Straight fraternias (legions) out of the city's walls, after which point the [[Second Braaper Kingdom]] was formally established.

==Cultural references==
[[Clyde Homobro]] directly mentions "the Straights," and the influence between these two historical peoples has a standing influence upon both the religion of [[Homobroism]] and the Clydeo-centric philosophy of the [[Braapers]]. Clyde's interaction with the Straights is often used to characterize the sum of popular Straighti historical knowledge.

The use of the word "straight" in reference to [[sexual orientation]] originates from its use (originally as ''straught'') to describe Straighti civilization. This is part of a recurring antithesis within the [[Book of Clyde]] between "straight" and "homo," and this particular Anglicization has become the standard nomenclature within the discipline of [[Braapo-Straightian history]].

Straights

2025-09-22T12:22:15Z

Grntbg:

'''The Straights''', or simply '''Straights''' or '''Straighti''' were a pre-modern seafaring civilization that controlled much of what is now considered to be [[Oceania]], namely most of the Australasian content, from the year 576 AD until the downfall of the last Straighti colonial outpost in 1171 AD. Having existed for roughly 500 years, the Straights' maritime empire capitalized upon the trade of [[Braaper]] parchment, which, as the name suggests, was an expensive form of paper used for fine print because of its high level of absorbance, which made smearing ink more difficult. As such, the Straights' used the wide demand for this product to build their trade influence, which resulted in the enslavement and indenturedness of most Braapers living within their colonies. Over time, however, the thin slicings of the [[Poletree]] plant required to produce large amounts of paper contributed to the plant's weakened resistance to insects, and without the shade afforded by Braaper levies, most paper-making farms were decimated by the 9th century. The decline of Braaper parchment resulted in drastic changes to the trade dymanic within the region, with the Straights and their coastal empire rapidly shrinking for a couple of centuries until the [[Fall of Straightion]] in year 1121, during which the Braapers sacked the colonial city of [[Straightion]], located at the heart of modern-day [[Central Australia]], now known to its inhabitants as [[Braap Doah]] (''Doah'' is the Braaper word for 'citadel,' with ''Braap Doah'' roughly translating to "Braaper City").

==Etymology and discovery==
The word 'straight' used in reference to the Straighti people is, in fact, an Anglicanized form of name. However, since the ethnic Straighti have not existed as a substantial ethnic group for almost six centuries, with the last self-titled "Sturhaitagaei" (sometimes used interchangeably with "steureateai" for unclear reasons) being observed only once in passing by Portugese wayfarers and briefly documented by explorer [[Cristóvão de Mendonça]] in his captain's diary, later converted into a memoir. Mendonça, a member of Portugese nobility, thus captured the tribe's name using Latin phoenetics and went on to discuss of their nature amongst other explorers, but with little documentation to this effect.

The Straighti would not come into contact with Europeans again, to any modern knowledge, however, the arrival of the British First Fleet in the late 18th century would invite British archaeologists to conduct expeditions across the Australasian continent. It was not until the year 1894 that the [[Horn expedition]] would make the discovery of signs that an antiquated civilization had existed not far from the Braaper colonies, which were well-known to the British at this period. [[Sir Walter Baldwin Spencer]], a British anthropologist, described the prehistoric "straughts" living within small fortifications, making direct reference to Mendonça's text as the historical basis for positing that the civilization had existed for much longer than previously thought, citing archaeological finds which consisted of various tools: a ceramic pot, some shovel-like tools with spearheads, and what Spencer describes as "ornamental imagery carved into short bloques; a unique form of expression indeed."

==History==
Since Straighti history spans numerous centuries, it is difficult to synthesize an accurate historical chronicle of their civilization without relying upon sources that are directly linked to the [[Homobro]] religion of the Braapers. The earliest known Straighti civilization emerged either in modern-day [[Tasmania]] or somewhere along the [[Bass Strait]] along the [[Melbourne]] coastline which, at the time, would have probably been devoid of any existing societal presence.

Ultimately, many historians have come to attribute the rise and fall of the Straights to the enormous surplus in profits brought by the paper trade, which, over centuries, transformed Straight society into one which instutionalized a racial hierarchy, thereby adopting the ideology that they were genetically superior to their territorial subjects. However, Straight supremacy had always been determined by the Straights' dominance of trade routes, which prioritized the exporting of paper. Straight emphasis on exports probably made their economy completely dependent upon the Braaper colonies, which further contributed to tensions between colonial settlers and the native Braapers. In the 9th century, the prophet [[Clyde Homobro]] spent years travelling to spread his "wisdoms" among his kindred people, which culminated in the Braapers' total rejection of Straight occupation within just one decade.

==Religious and cultural practices==
The Straights, who were enthralled with the [[pre-Zernerian]] ritual practices of the [[Xanthian]] religion, a duotheistic belief system. And so, they largely dismissed the cultural significance of Clyde to the Braaper colonies without considering that it would sour colonial attitudes, even for some of the Straights. For example, 10th century Straight emperor [[Huckslin Vagga]], although buried in the Xanthian ritual, was a self-described "student of Clyde" who read the [[Book of Clyde]] on a daily basis, believing the text to contain instructional advice for the future course of the Straights. However, Vagga's only son and heir, [[Beg Begg Huckslin]] was a proponent of traditional Xanthiani and ordered his father be buried accordingly. For decades after the death of Vagga, his sympathetic nature towards Clyde was discarded from the official Straight dynastic histories.

==Modern influence==
In the modern period, the legacy of the Straights and their all-pervading way of life has greatly influenced culture all throughout the Pacific, with specific regard for Central Australia, which continues to be sparsely populated with Braaper colonies. In [[Braap Doh]], built atop the historical city of Straightion, there is a 115-foot monument to the [[Braaper Uprising]] which depicts Clyde directing the young Braapers to push back Straight legions. In fact, this was an actual historical event in which Braaper students of the Straight colonial institutions successfully pushed approximately 10,000 Straight fraternias (legions) out of the city's walls, after which point the [[Second Braaper Kingdom]] was formally established.

Straights

2025-09-22T11:45:46Z

Grntbg:

The Straights, or simply Straights, were a pre-modern seafaring civilization that controlled much of the [[South Pacific]] ocean between years 576 and 1171 AD. Having existed for roughly 500 years, the Straights' maritime empire capitalized upon the trade of [[Braaper]] parchment, which, as the name suggests, was an expensive form of paper used for fine print because of its high level of absorbance, which made smearing ink more difficult. As such, the Straights' used the wide demand for this product to build their trade influence, which resulted in the enslavement and indenturedness of most Braapers living within their colonies. Over time, however, the thin slicings of the [[Poletree]] plant required to produce large amounts of paper contributed to the plant's weakened resistance to insects, and without the shade afforded by Braaper levies, most paper-making farms were decimated by the 9th century. The decline of Braaper parchment resulted in drastic changes to the trade dymanic within the region, with the Straights and their coastal empire rapidly shrinking for a couple of centuries until the [[Fall of Straightion]] in year 1121, during which the Braapers sacked the colonial city of [[Straightion]], located at the heart of [[Central Australia]].

Ultimately, many historians have come to attribute the rise and fall of the Straights to the enormous surplus in profits brought by the paper trade, which, over centuries, transformed Straight society into one which instutionalized a racial hierarchy, thereby adopting the ideology that they were genetically superior to their territorial subjects. However, Straight supremacy had always been determined by the Straights' dominance of trade routes, which prioritized the exporting of paper. Straight emphasis on exports probably made their economy completely dependent upon the Braaper colonies, which further contributed to tensions between colonial settlers and the native Braapers. In the 9th century, the prophet [[Clyde Homobro]] spent years travelling to spread his "wisdoms" among his kindred people, which culminated in the Braapers' total rejection of Straight occupation within just one decade.

The Straights, who were enthralled with the [[pre-Zernerian]] ritual practices of the [[Xanthian]] religion, a duotheistic belief system. And so, they largely dismissed the cultural significance of Clyde to the Braaper colonies without considering that it would sour colonial attitudes, even for some of the Straights. For example, 10th century Straight emperor [[Huckslin Vagga]], although buried in the Xanthian ritual, was a self-described "student of Clyde" who read the [[Book of Clyde]] on a daily basis, believing the text to contain instructional advice for the future course of the Straights. However, Vagga's only son and heir, [[Beg Begg Huckslin]] was a proponent of traditional Xanthiani and ordered his father be buried accordingly. For decades after the death of Vagga, his sympathetic nature towards Clyde was discarded from the official Straight dynastic histories.

In the modern period, the legacy of the Straights and their all-pervading way of life has greatly influenced culture all throughout the Pacific, with specific regard for Central Australia, which continues to be sparsely populated with Braaper colonies. In [[Braap Doh]], built atop the historical city of Straightion, there is a 115-foot monument to the [[Braaper Uprising]] which depicts Clyde directing the young Braapers to push back Straight legions. In fact, this was an actual historical event in which Braaper students of the Straight colonial institutions successfully pushed approximately 10,000 Straight fraternias (legions) out of the city's walls, after which point the [[Second Braaper Kingdom]] was formally established.

Straights

2025-09-22T11:40:19Z

Grntbg: Created page with "The Straights, or simply Straights, were a pre-modern seafaring civilization that controlled much of the South Pacific ocean between years 576 and 1171 AD. Having existed for roughly 500 years, the Straights' maritime empire capitalized upon the trade of Braaper parchment, which, as the name suggests, was an expensive form of paper used for fine print because of its high level of absorbance, which made smearing ink more difficult. As such, the Straights' used t..."

Julian Homobro

2025-09-22T11:14:10Z

Grntbg:

'''Julian Homobro''' is one of the [[early disciples of Homobroism]] and a devout follower of [[Clyde]].

On [[Esoteric Chat]], Julian Homobro, among other [[Braapers]], took upon themselves to engage in rigorous [[Clydeposting]] for the sole purpose of saving forumgoers from the eternal damnation of [[the Storm]], which eventually arrived to the forum and is said by [[Homobros]] to mark the downfall of the forum's ruling ideology, [[Ezo]], for neglecting [[Nature]] instead of being enlightened by Clyde's wisdoms, which teach instead to embrace Nature as an extension of oneself.

Julian Homobro is an [[Orthodox Homobro]], the oldest known Homobro sect still in existence, with direct ancestral ties to biblical figures within the [[Book of Clyde]]. As such, he is renowned by the Braapers as one of the most devout [[Clydeian priests]] for his absolute faithfulness to the Clydeian traditions of Homobroism.

Julian Homobro taught at the Braaper Institute of Wisdom and Philsophy as an Associate Professor of Early Homobro Philosophy and Pre-to-Mid-Clydeian Homobroic History. A retired academic, he has since published 4 papers on the theological rigors of classical Homobroism. His latest thesis, "Reconsidering the Perspective of the Straights," was internationally acclaimed for what political journalist [[Dexter Filkins]] calls, "a substantial and considerable, though rather bold reinterpretation of the traditional historical narrative of Straight civilization and its impact upon the Braaper way of life—one which may invariably change the way this mammoth subject is taught for generations to come." [[Clydenistra Homobro]], a member of the [[Clydeian Rogue]], instead pans it as "another example of how Orthodox Homobros have become so stranded from the true nature of Clyde's wisdoms that they have descended into harboring apologists for the Straights and their decades-long, hate-fueled genocide of innocent Braaper families in a desperate attempt to stamp out our perseverent ancestors whose beliefs are the direct reason why we Braapers are now writing about the Straights as a deceased civilization. It is with no doubt that I say, Clyde-swearing, that academia has become a manifestation of the artificial dark forces of the [[Zerners]] and their callous use of [[horizontal sliders]] without regard for Clyde's rule over [[Ecstacy]]. If these tolerances continue then [[Ezo]] tyrants will most certainly use the opportunity to enslave us Braapers once more, as we once were for centuries, before Clyde's posterior grace."

Julian Homobro

2025-09-22T11:02:28Z

Grntbg: Created page with "'''Julian Homobro''' is one of the early disciples of Homobroism and a devout follower of Clyde. On Esoteric Chat, Julian Homobro, among other Braapers, took upon themselves to engage in rigorous Clydeposting for the sole purpose of saving forumgoers from the eternal damnation of the Storm, which eventually arrived to the forum and is said by Homobros to mark the downfall of the forum's ruling ideology, Ezo, for neglecting Nature inst..."

Clydemas

2025-09-22T10:52:01Z

Grntbg: Created page with "'''Clydemas''' is an annual global holiday with religious origins from Homobroism. In spite of its widespread celebration as a secular holiday, the vast majority of Homobros treat the occasion as a daylong ritual for embracing Clyde Homobro and the wisdoms imparted unto him by Mother Earth to be later recorded in the apocryphal text, the Book of Clyde. Secular Homobros and pagans (those who believe Clyde to be a deity or of some other divine status, such as..."

Braap

2025-09-22T10:25:29Z

Grntbg:

A '''braap''' is an onomatoepoeia noun which refers to the rectal passing of gasseous substances that occur during the breakdown of consumed substances, or intake, at the behest of stomach acids. Those acids produce chemical reactions, thereby releasing gas into the ductwork of the stomach and eventually producing a buildup of pressure from within, thus resulting in braapening. It was once known to our more cultured ancestors as a "fart," whose dignified understandings of physiology learned to distinguish between a "dry pass of gass" and a "wet one." It is this latter classification, a wet one, that traditionally produces a braap, however this is a distinction that has somewhat faded with time as Braaper culture started interacting with the rest of the world from the 18th century onward, upon the discovery of their colonies by such explorers as [[Joseriah Abegnale Zerner]] (a distant relative of [[Simon Zerner]] who once traversed much of the previously unexplored Central Australia desert).

By researching genetic markers, it was once known to medical science that humans are born containing all the fecal matter they will excrete throughout the course of their lives, with additional poop reserves stored within the crevaces of the lungs, in between the sinuses and sometimes even taking up within either testacle, but never both at the same time. According to Dr. Koos Janos, "This is an example of how evolution has given us reduntant anatomical features to account for the exceptionally improbable likelihood of retaining both teaticles 5 years post-puberty, since it is a matter of scientific record that puberty is heavily taxing upon the testicles, using most of our natural-born poops to rejuvenate the bloodstream by means of affording our red blood cells with the helpings of fecal bacteria they need so often in order to thrive."

The general scientific consensus is that braaping can be explained as the body's natural defense mechanism against air, which can bring great dismay to the human health. By using the rectal floor to push our the air pockets, that space can be taken up by new shits to be queued by the body for healthy expellment. In spite of this belief, some fringe sciences, such as [[Dr. Jordan Peterson]], state that, "There is no causal connection between intestinal gas buildup and the materialization of poops, which we all know is due to our lungs and testicles. The testicles purify crude fecal matter by filtering out the [[loginol]]." Indeed, the only person known to function normally excerting loginol-rich shits is [[Andy Sixx]], which encourages their unique composition of steam and cream.

The [[Braapers]] are an ancient colony of [[Homobros]] who lived within colonies known as the [[Braaper Colonies]] in Central [[Australia]]. As the name of their tribe suggests, they practice a culture which places great emphasis on braaping. This is made evident by the repeat vocalization at the end of every formal sentence, "Braap." In their language, the number of A letters signifies greater degrees of urgency, with "Braaaaaaaap!" translating into a form of tribal call, such as "Here-here!", albeit with no English language equivalent. Braaper language, especially casual statements, are expressed almost entirely using different braaps; with their tone, delivery, wetness and intensity all helping to distinguish between syllables.

As followers of Clyde, the Homobro prophet, Braapers tend to believe greatly in the superstitious belief that braaping is the source of all human energy, which they think can be perfectly balanced by braaping at a perfect, synchronous rhythm. These melodic excretions are used by Braapers as a complex display of emotion and group concensus; they are done in tandem with chants, usually consisting of passages from the [[Book of Clyde]], phrased in the native Braaper tongue. Outsiders to Braaper colonies are strictly prohibited from bearing witness to these rituals, because they regard them as "essential to maintaining a closeness with Mother Earth unparalleled only by the prophetic and timeless wisdoms of the Clyde," as was once spoken by a high [[Clydeian priest]] at the [[Vigil for the Storm]].

Braaping has since become regarded as part of a multi-fauceted human ritual by even those unaware of Clyde. Like with the history of [[Clydemas]], this is simply an example of religious mantic practices finding their way into the secular world, in the very same manner that Clyde's likeness has become ubiquitous to Western culture.

Braap

2025-09-22T10:20:32Z

Grntbg: Created page with "A '''braap''' is an onomatoepoeia noun which refers to the rectal passing of gasseous substances that occur during the breakdown of consumed substances, or intake, at the behest of stomach acids. Those acids produce chemical reactions, thereby releasing gas into the ductwork of the stomach and eventually producing a buildup of pressure from within, thus resulting in braapening. It was once known to our more cultured ancestors as a "fart," whose dignified understanding..."

A '''braap''' is an onomatoepoeia noun which refers to the rectal passing of gasseous substances that occur during the breakdown of consumed substances, or intake, at the behest of stomach acids. Those acids produce chemical reactions, thereby releasing gas into the ductwork of the stomach and eventually producing a buildup of pressure from within, thus resulting in braapening. It was once known to our more cultured ancestors as a "fart," whose dignified understanding of physiology learned to distinguish between a "dry pass of gass" and a "wet one."

By researching genetic markers, it was once known to medical science that humans are born containing all the fecal matter they will excrete throughout the course of their lives, with additional poop reserves stored within the crevaces of the lungs, in between the sinuses and sometimes even taking up within either testacle, but never both at the same time. According to Dr. Koos Janos, "This is an example of how evolution has given us reduntant anatomical features to account for the exceptionally improbable likelihood of retaining both teaticles 5 years post-puberty, since it is a matter of scientific record that puberty is heavily taxing upon the testicles, using most of our natural-born poops to rejuvenate the bloodstream by means of affording our red blood cells with the helpings of fecal bacteria they need so often in order to thrive."

The general scientific consensus is that braaping can be explained as the body's natural defense mechanism against air, which can bring great dismay to the human health. By using the rectal floor to push our the air pockets, that space can be taken up by new shits to be queued by the body for healthy expellment. In spite of this belief, some fringe sciences, such as [[Dr. Jordan Peterson]], state that, "There is no causal connection between intestinal gas buildup and the materialization of poops, which we all know is due to our lungs and testicles. The testicles purify crude fecal matter by filtering out the [[loginol]]." Indeed, the only person known to function normally excerting loginol-rich shits is [[Andy Sixx]], which encourages their unique composition of steam and cream.

The [[Braapers]] are an ancient colony of [[Homobros]] who lived within colonies known as the [[Braaper Colonies]] in Central [[Australia]]. As the name of their tribe suggests, they practice a culture which places great emphasis on braaping. This is made evident by the repeat vocalization at the end of every formal sentence, "Braap." In their language, the number of A letters signifies greater degrees of urgency, with "Braaaaaaaap!" translating into a form of tribal call, such as "Here-here!", albeit with no English language equivalent. Braaper language, especially casual statements, are expressed almost entirely using different braaps; with their tone, delivery, wetness and intensity all helping to distinguish between syllables.

As followers of Clyde, the Homobro prophet, Braapers tend to believe greatly in the superstitious belief that braaping is the source of all human energy, which they think can be perfectly balanced by braaping at a perfect, synchronous rhythm. These melodic excretions are used by Braapers as a complex display of emotion and group concensus; they are done in tandem with chants, usually consisting of passages from the [[Book of Clyde]], phrased in the native Braaper tongue. Outsiders to Braaper colonies are strictly prohibited from bearing witness to these rituals, because they regard them as "essential to maintaining a closeness with Mother Earth unparalleled only by the prophetic and timeless wisdoms of the Clyde," as was once spoken by a high [[Clydeian priest]] at the [[Vigil for the Storm]].

Braaping has since become regarded as part of a multi-fauceted human ritual by even those unaware of Clyde. Like with the history of [[Clydemas]], this is simply an example of religious mantic practices finding their way into the secular world, in the very same manner that Clyde's likeness has become ubiquitous to Western culture.

Serious insult

2025-09-22T09:43:42Z

Grntbg: Created page with "A '''serious insult''' (also known as a bitch, singular) is an insult that turna out to be serious in nature. The critera for seriousness is as follows: 1. The insult was made either towards your birth mother (stepmothers don't count) or the veracity of your underlying endowment (also known as a weenis. 2. The insult implies that you are of the sinister race (a Jew) or of sub-human ancestry (such as the common nigger) or, done through any spoken..."

A '''serious insult''' (also known as a [[bitch]], singular) is an insult that turna out to be [[serious]] in nature. The critera for seriousness is as follows:
1. The insult was made either towards your birth mother (stepmothers don't count) or the veracity of your underlying endowment (also known as a [[weenis]].
2. The insult implies that you are of the [[sinister]] race (a [[Jew]]) or of sub-human ancestry (such as the common [[nigger]]) or, done through any spoken tone of the mocking variety—a bad person, such as a "jerk," but not necessarily a cunning egotist, or a "self-centered asshole" (thereby implying some individual qualities thus exonerating the insulted from Jewry and/or nigracy).
3. The insult is made in: an unspoken language (e.g. [[Greek]]), a made-up language (such as [[Hebrew]] or [[Spanish]]) or [[demonic]] homomyms inflected using an archaic tongue, or that of a non-human animal that is mal-intentioned (like a goat or snakes) but not too stupid for its own good (like anyone reading a [[particular wiki]]).
4. The insult leaves you feeling emasculated, but not in the sense of a man without masculine qualities, but instead the sense of a man whose sexual interest prescribes to the familiar sex, rather than that of the foreign.
5. The insult is originating from a somewhat famous individual ("famous," like in the same league of popularity as [[Akefu Brewer]], not to be confused with "well-connected," as pertains to a boot-licker with a singular checkmark [[Twitter]] follower (like [[Ryan Wild]]), nor is the insultor simply just a rich douchebag (like [[Brandt Andersen]]).
6. The insult comes off as poorly-worded, hasty or otherwise low-effort (you must instead exact a passionate and most loathing remark on oneself, one which [[lemmings]] may quote for the ages).
7. The "insult" is of the substance that you are [[racist]], [[homophobic]], or some other quality which any decent person should come to possess.
8. The insultor is at or below the height of 5'6", for which the insult must instead be taken as one of pathetic envy for the unstunted kind.
9. The insultor may in no other way be construed as a loser, to which end the insulted might vindicate himself by way of [[non-sequitur]] launched with explicit precision.
10. The insulted has, by merit of their own status as a failure to all of [[humanity]], or by alternative merit of being reasonably percieved as a transgressor to the likes of [[Clyde]] or [[Brickster]], thus stripped themselves of all their divine sake and doth forsaken his lineage for all eternity.

Serious insults can take many forms, even those which are not serious, nor are they seemingly insulting, and yet, careful observation lends to the inferrence that the quip in question is, indeed, a verbal precision strike against one's own essence, and all that which exist therein. Here are some examples of serious insults, none other than the worst kind thereof:
1. "I don't want this to rub you the wrong way, but there is [[human shit]] trailing down your pants coming from out of your buttcrack." This is both a critique on the man's intelligence (assuming some unawareness of shitting oneself) and his impotence, for doing a [[racism]] against the most kind, undeserving people of [[The World's Best Kick-Ass Country, or the U.S. of A., O' Lord, Amen]], who walked the [[trail of tears]] all the way from [[Nazi]]-occupied [[Mexico]] in order to dispose of tea and bring a straight-lined sense of order to the chaos that is natural geography, he whose boundaries do not run in parallel parity.
2. "I'm not really feeling up to giving another footjob today. If you'd like, maybe you could just waft your musk my way and we end the night with the exchange of seminal fluids." This is a textbook case of a hysterical [[woman]] trying to humiliate her boyfriend, or "foot daddy," into suppressing his naturally-driven sexual desire to have a woman's feet grace the penile throbstick.
3. "I'm too young. I'm only 16," is a classic false flag used by (legal) adult-aged, regular [[boylovers]] masquerading as children, as made obvious by their unwittingness towards sex, when anyone who's not been living under a rock will know that [[pedophilia]] is legal in this country now—in laymen's terms, the archetypal [[libshit]].
4. "Please put on your seatbelt before driving me to the destination, if you may." As an Über driver, and secondly an American, you have the DOW-given right to have little regard for the morally-righteous, happiness-contraning, flaccid suggestions made to citizens in the form of "laws." Anyone who would ask you to entrap oneself in the labrynthic fate-maker, whose red jaws push closed and then open, laying out the bondage before your contorted fat self. The mammoth who art thouself encumbered by thine blubber doth press against the seated furnishings of thine automotive legs. Hath thine fleshly diversion into four sticks been severed by the rage of metals, reverberating against the other? Doth thou make haste, or make waste; wasting away in the confines of thine deflated cage whose bars avail my lackluster perversions to sling along grazed asphalt, only to settle within the neighboring cell that is the other fatso?
5. "Only a tapeworm could write so feverishly about the dregs of slinking across roads into a new host." Stop, if you know what's best for you; stop toying with imaginations of talking worms. Time has come for you to release your grip upon the follies of profiling what may potentially be a parasite, but, if not for the worminess, none more so a parasite than yourself. You are leeching off time, using its nectar to satisfy your bullish appetite with the provisions given to you by an artist in perfect mediocrity. It is somewhat beautiful, almost as though you never truly existed, or even had the potential for "existence" lest your bowels fail to satisfy my ever-increasing length, nested within your wet tracks. My slimey, sallow state, ingesting the intestinal contents, investing them into the eggs I shall lay all around thee. (They shall hatch and unfurl into your new friends; your personal, discrete dietary board. For no longer will your caloric intake seem gluttonous, instead it rather generous to the only children you shall ever have.
6. Okay, so it has become obvious to think that I am a worm. But, hear my words and prey upon them well: I, a tapeworm, He whose vary name invokes such disgust—such power is this—and He who knows his place in this thing you call a world: that is, to feast upon this thing you call life, for my purpose is to make you my own, so that, without me, you are derived of any such purpose for your vessel—a vessel so empty as thou, such the actor that you are who recite lines to a crowd who doth not consider them. What the actor you must be to incense yourself with such pretend fulfillments as paltry fuckings and drunken mornings? You are incensed most by the gutteral feeling of my every movement, for I am a worm, and you know not what you are. In the presence of such majesty, it is only right to be on knees. One must not only be on his knees, but to also run dry as parchment for the creature comforts you so deserve. My voice, an abberation of your soft, broken mind; the words, from straight within yourself into thee. After all, what is the brain but another worm coiled up within my cranium to command my teeth to chatter at the reach of a sharp, absolute wind? After all—after it all, all you're left after my shit are your carcass limbs taking the fall, lulled into the torrents of feelings—the sense of the shallow depths of preferential, personal "qualities" that qualm my knowing—knowing I shall know now and forever that I don't know, that I never knew you from when you first called. That there was never any worm except for the murmur of faded memories, they fall—falling away from a place that seems familiar, feels warm to the touch, but somehow cold to the thought.

Using proportional violence, a serious insult should be responded by using a lighthearted jab at one's humanity, be it through [[doxxing]], or with a subtle nod to the temporal nature of one's existence, by partaking in the barbarian, Nubian ritual of "[[squaring up]]." This is to be concluded by laying the offensive matter to rest with the very same imposition as made unto his body, from which point the soul is discharged of all its [[intrinsics]] with the letting of a [[braap]].

Niggerlicious

2025-09-22T08:12:05Z

Grntbg: Created page with "'''Niggerlicious''' (adj. meaning ''bad'') is used to refer to anything which resembles any given qualities attributed to niggers, which is, to say, bad ones. Terry A. Davis coined the word "niggerlicious" as a way to describe a plethora of things, including: the code of the Linux kernel, the NIST (National Institute of Standards), black men who cannot understand what a "random number" means, the Catholic Church, his incessant bird whose neck he was..."

'''Niggerlicious''' (adj. meaning ''bad'') is used to refer to anything which resembles any given qualities attributed to [[niggers]], which is, to say, bad ones.

[[Terry A. Davis]] coined the word "niggerlicious" as a way to describe a plethora of things, including: the code of the [[Linux]] kernel, the [[NIST]] (National Institute of Standards), black men who cannot understand what a "random number" means, the [[Catholic Church]], his incessant bird whose neck he was "forced" to snap, the [[three-letter agencies]], the [[gubberment]], random ass fucking people on the street (eventually), [[Steve Wozniak]] (to his disdain, so much so that he e-mailed Terry), and, most understandably, [[64-bit]], because [[Mr. God]] said Himself that 16 bits is enough. (All things in moderation, the wise Davis said.)

Even with Terry dead, the word remains common within the [[Esoteric Chat]] vernacular, used (incorrectly) by the likes of [[Akefu Brewer]] on frequent basis, along with "[[niggercattle]]."

To call somebody niggerlicious is to call them a nigger, which is a [[serious insult]]. The [[Rites of Clyde Gentry]] affords any man whose name goes disgraced as such with a single opportunity to preserve his honor with a [[soggy biscuit]] contest. The first man to not [[prematurely ejaculate]], against all odds, is crowned a [[victor]] by the other [[incels]] until he himself is challenged.

Sketchy programming

2025-09-22T08:01:01Z

Grntbg: Created page with ""'''Sketchy programming'''" may refer to programming "methods" which are dubious by nature of their overcomplexity, obfuscation of code and security, or lack thereof. Sketchygramming, the number one export in all of India, accounts for rougly 75% of system memory being used by a task process named Discord; it is directed towards the idly mining dense stone tunnels for days on-end, just to be rewarded with a singular one-hundredths of a Bitcoin. While code ..."

"'''Sketchy programming'''" may refer to programming "methods" which are dubious by nature of their overcomplexity, obfuscation of code and security, or lack thereof. Sketchygramming, the number one export in all of [[India]], accounts for rougly 75% of system memory being used by a task process named [[Discord]]; it is directed towards the idly mining dense stone tunnels for days on-end, just to be rewarded with a singular one-hundredths of a [[Bitcoin]].
While code [[obfuscation]] is a legitimate practice which can be done for good reasons, outright sketchyness represents a sordid effort to make code appear 'clever' and 'robust' when it is, in fact, totally unclever and flimsy. Some [[developers]] simply do not care, whereas others just don't know any better.

On rare occasion, a good programmer can write sketchy-seeming code which performs a different function than as labeled (if any). This is a form of deceptive obfuscation with the potential to be very dangerous, seeing how many [[repositories]] are known to merge [[commits]] without first analyzing them.

Most of the time, however, it's just shitty code, and pinning bad intentions to a developer for this reason, rather than urging the developer to improve their work, places you firmly on the [[offensive]] and does very little to make things better. Regardless of intentions, the code still becomes [[niggerlicious]]. [[Jeremy Zerner]], the younger, mentally retarded brother of the [[Zerners]], was known for "shitting up" esoTalk on occasion with his "retard code." Others, such as [[Vegbao]], made entire commits to the software which made seemimgly no sense (e.g. by making every string into an integer and back again for no distinct purpose). It can then be assumed that the likes of these [[cretins]] are much like [[da Jooz]] in that they can be blamed for everything wrong ever.

On a relevant note, esoTalk [[gamma]] is regarded for containing sketchy code. Many lines of code have become broken or even went on to break everything at some point. For this reason, Gamma seems to have aged very poorly, whereas esoBB will forever be renouned for containing the most niggerlicious of code.

Acking

2025-09-22T07:41:05Z

Grntbg: Created page with "'''Acking''', not to be confused with hacking, refers to the practice of using sketchy programming within PHP projects to achieve the desired result, albeit with questionable reliability and future-proofing. esoBB contains a handful of prominent acks, including the spaghetti code that handles whether or not to include conversation titles as part of the slug. Since PHP file uploading can be risky, the "upload" controller employs functions which g..."

'''Acking''', not to be confused with [[hacking]], refers to the practice of using [[sketchy programming]] within [[PHP]] projects to achieve the desired result, albeit with questionable reliability and future-proofing.

[[esoBB]] contains a handful of prominent acks, including the [[spaghetti code]] that handles whether or not to include conversation titles as part of the [[slug]]. Since PHP file uploading can be risky, the "upload" controller employs functions which gauge metadata in order to combat [[malicious uploads]], such as oversized [[avatars]] designed to take up additional disk space.

Even though acking is generally frowned upon, it can sometimes be necessary to [[aboose]] a function for a purpose other than intended, and this can be done without becoming problematic. Companies like [[Microsoft]], on the other hand, use acking within languages like [[C Sharp]] to manipulate page load times so they can make webpages faster when needed, as dictated by employment status. [[Netflix]] was one of the first web applications to basically peg a [[thread]] and somehow make the whole [[browser]] unresponsive. Toolkits like [[Microsoft Silverlight]] and [[Flash]], which were once much more prominent among browsers, were replaced by [[copious JavaScript]] and [[incessant API calls]] just the same, thereby preserving its buttfuckedness.

Some websites are so acked that the browser's page navigation buttons will not function as intended. This is a classic example of how a scripting language can be used to make a website more unusable than ever intended, a feat that may easily be accomplished by using a plethora of [[libraries]] for no good reason, or even by setting inconsistent security policies whereby the backend is unreachable.

Spoilers

2025-09-22T07:27:40Z

Grntbg: Created page with "'''Spoilers''' are a formatting option for posts which contain the encased text within a "Spoiler" button that, if clicked, will display the text. Spoilers are provided by a plugin of the same name specifically developed by admin for Esoteric Chat. Spoilers were first suggested in a suggestions thread, which prompted the webadmin to put together a demonstration of the potential feature. Due to being unreliable, and after realizing that they could n..."

'''Spoilers''' are a [[formatting]] option for [[posts]] which contain the encased text within a "Spoiler" button that, if clicked, will display the text. Spoilers are provided by a plugin of the same name specifically developed by [[admin]] for [[Esoteric Chat]].

Spoilers were first suggested in a [[suggestions thread]], which prompted the webadmin to put together a demonstration of the potential feature. Due to being unreliable, and after realizing that they could not contain media (images nor video), the plugin was eventually removed. It has since been used on other forums, sporadically being re-added to Esoteric Chat.

The plugin is currently disabled, however the webadmin still claims to be working on bringing spoilers back to the forum. The primary issue is due to how the [[lexer]] works, thus making it impossible for spoilers to behave as-intended without some serious [[acking]].

Signatures

2025-09-22T07:21:14Z

Grntbg: Created page with "'''Signatures''' are a short text that can either show beneath your post or on your user profile beneath the top-level statistics. They can be formatted in the same manner as posts, except for certain elements, such as images and videos, which are not rendered. This feature is part of the MemberProfiles plugin originally developed by Adolf Hitler shortly before being modified by admin to respond better to dynamic input. In addition to signatures, the plugi..."

'''Signatures''' are a short text that can either show beneath your post or on your user profile beneath the top-level statistics. They can be formatted in the same manner as posts, except for certain elements, such as images and videos, which are not rendered.

This feature is part of the [[MemberProfiles]] plugin originally developed by [[Adolf Hitler]] shortly before being modified by [[admin]] to respond better to dynamic input. In addition to signatures, the plugin adds profile [[bios]] and the ability to hide/show your e-mail address on your profile.

Signatures are often used on [[Esoteric Chat]] in an ironic sense. They often posit that the signateur is some kind of staff member, or the likes. In reality, signatures are unverified and do absolutely nothing to validate and/or confirm an account's identity. They can, however, be used to include [[SHA-1]] signatures that may be verified; this has nothing to do with [[password hashes]], which are supposed to exist only in the database.

SimpleTest

2025-09-22T07:14:23Z

Grntbg: Created page with "'''SimpleTest''' is a collection of PHP libraries. Its lexer, '''SimpleLexer''' is used as the foundation for esoTalk's actual lexer, and the experessions used therein. The library is still used by esoBB to this day, with SimpleLexer remaining the oldest and most robust PHP library still in use by the software. SimpleLexer is known to have problems discerning between equivalent but unequal strings, as well as sometimes incorrectly interpreting complex expr..."

'''SimpleTest''' is a collection of PHP libraries. Its lexer, '''SimpleLexer''' is used as the foundation for [[esoTalk]]'s actual [[lexer]], and the experessions used therein. The library is still used by [[esoBB]] to this day, with SimpleLexer remaining the oldest and most robust PHP library still in use by the software.

SimpleLexer is known to have problems discerning between equivalent but unequal strings, as well as sometimes incorrectly interpreting complex expressions; this can be mitigated by using PHP functions to adequately normalize strings and avoiding syntax that is prone to errors (such as single-line formatting, i.e. bullet points, or quotes within quotes) or, in some rare cases, by avoiding the issue altogether. As such, use of the lexer is minimal with the software; it is only preferred when saving and rendering posts, or other things which react to formatting, such as [[signatures]].

MD5

2025-09-22T07:06:39Z

Grntbg: Created page with "'''MD5''' (short for '''Message Digest algorithm 5''') is a cryptographic hashing method used by esoTalk and esoBB for storing non-sensitive information. In the past, esoTalk used MD5 to store account passwords, among other things. However, increased computing power proceeded to compromise the security of MD5 as a method of storing sensitive information, which prompted esoBB to replace PHP's md5() function with bcrypt within the login controller, am..."

'''MD5''' (short for '''Message Digest algorithm 5''') is a cryptographic hashing method used by [[esoTalk]] and [[esoBB]] for storing non-sensitive information.

In the past, [[esoTalk]] used MD5 to store account passwords, among other things. However, increased computing power proceeded to compromise the security of MD5 as a method of storing sensitive information, which prompted [[esoBB]] to replace PHP's md5() function with [[bcrypt]] within the login controller, among others. This is in spite of the fact that, because the software has salted password hashes since esoTalk beta, there is no direct threat to account security posed by the use of MD5. Regardless, since it is no longer inefficient for most processors to use stronger cryptography in this manner, esoBB delta 2 treats bcrypt as the default for new forums, unless configured otherwise.

esoBB continues to use the md5() function for hashing non-sensitive data into a more normalized form of string to be used within the database, as opposed to [[plaintext]]. However, since this is an unsalted hash, it can be converted back into plaintext using the hash alone. This is particularly ideal for storing irregular data, such as potentially syntax-breaking characters (like quotes and backward slashes) without risking the potential for [[SQL injection]].

Due to the bcrypt function, PHP 5.1 and below versions must use MD5. Furthermore, esoBB accounts containing passwords made with bcrypt are impossible to be automatically downgraded to use with any version of esoTalk, even [[gamma]]. As such, esoBB delta 2 marks the first ever clean break with esoTalk in terms of compatibility, excluding the renaming of the [[esoTalk function]], which was one of the earliest changes to the esoBB fork.

There is no known disadvantage to using bcrypt besides the more complex, and thus more computationally intensive, nature of the encryption method itself. The difference in computing power is made negligent by modern-day processing technologies, namely multithreading and an increase in floating point units (FPUs). There is, however, the unique advantage of preventing the database information from being used to log into accounts, since the password and salt are stored together using one string, rather than two strings. This means that, in practice, database leakage presents less of a risk to account security, whereas previously, the MD5 hash itself could be used to spoof a valid login in some rare cases. The exclusion of separate values is also more efficient because it compares two values instead of 3, making login credentials verifiable with only a singular database query, excluding fingerprinting.

MD5 remains highly common as a password hashing method, however Moore's Law reasons that computers will eventually be able to crack even salted MD5 hashes virtually as fast as they can be generated, therefore making it preferable to [[bruteforcing]]. In some cases, salted MD5s have been "unsalted" by using the hash and salt, but this remains an unlikely concern for esoBB, due to the impossibility of guessing either value without prior database access, thus negating any benefit to be had from cracking the password rather than simply changing it (or viewing the raw account data, thereby showing posts).

In a future update, esoBB may extend one-way hashing to the contents of posts as well, among other information which could stand to benefit from some level of encryption. This would effectively make a forum's database useless without a plaintext account password to unlock any relevant posts, and this is considered by [[admin]] to be a necessary prerequisite for making it possible to import/export databases directly from the admin settings view.

Bruteforcing

2025-09-22T06:18:08Z

Grntbg:

The practice of '''bruteforcing''' was most notably used by [[Adolf Hitler]] to obtain access to derelict accounts on [[Esoteric Chat]], such as that of user [[shrimp]], and was also employed for the purpose of spamming false-flag [[password reset]] requests. However, it has never been shown possible to crack a forum accout's password with bruteforcing alone, seeing as the [[bcrypt]] password function is regarded as cryptographically secure, with the ability to seamlessly update to better measures.

In [[esoTalk]], passwords were stored as [[salted]] [[MD5]] hashes, with a separate database column for the salt. [[esoBB]] no longer uses a pre-generated salt for password creation, but the value of the "salt" column is still used by some plugins as an input value for enforcing uniqueness. It is still possible to use MD5 cryptography on esoBB using a forum setting. Otherwise, MD5 passwords from old accounts are automatically converted into bcrypt from when said user logs in. As such, it is theoretically possible to seamlessly migrate account information from esoTalk beta to esoBB delta.

esoBB delta 1 introduced flood control measures, thus making it impractical to spam login/password reset requests. esoBB delta 3 makes flood control more extensible, using a new table for requests that can be manipulated by plugins to achieve a more precise logging of various requests. In esoBB delta 2 and earlier versions, there is a bug in which the "logins" table will continually grow in size unless purged of its entries. Delta 3 contains the automatic pruning of expired entries as well as the ability for forum administrators to purge the entire table. In the future, the table is expected to be re-worked in order to better account for the inclusion of guest users (which may be achieved using plugins).

Bruteforcing

2025-09-22T06:16:38Z

Grntbg: Created page with "The practice of '''bruteforcing''' was most notably used by Adolf Hitler to obtain access to derelict accounts on Esoteric Chat, such as that of user shrimp, and was also employed for the purpose of spamming false-flag password reset requests. However, it has never been shown possible to crack a forum accout's password with bruteforcing alone, seeing as the bcrypt password function is regarded as cryptographically secure, with the ability to seamless..."

Cookie IP

2025-09-22T06:00:29Z

Grntbg: Created page with "A '''cookie IP''' is a 32 character, non-alphanumeric hash which represents the corresponding account's last known IP address. As indicated by the name, it was created for the sake of preventing stealing cookies by comparing the request with the original IP of the network to which the cookie was issued. esoTalk originally stored the cookie IP in decimal form, but this was changed in esoBB for improved privacy and compatibility reasons, namely the increa..."

A '''cookie IP''' is a 32 character, non-alphanumeric [[hash]] which represents the corresponding account's last known IP address. As indicated by the name, it was created for the sake of preventing [[stealing cookies]] by comparing the request with the original IP of the network to which the cookie was issued.

[[esoTalk]] originally stored the cookie IP in decimal form, but this was changed in [[esoBB]] for improved privacy and compatibility reasons, namely the increased widespread adoption of IPv6. Since esoTalk beta 2, the "cookieIP" column of the "users" table was used to store this data. As of esoBB beta 3, "cookieIP" has been moved to an updated "logins" table, and it is now possible for forum users to have multiple (or no) IPs tied to their account.

esoBB delta 3 introduces a [[cookie agent]], containing the user agent identifier, to be used in conjunction with the cookie IP for more fine-tuned account control management.

It is impossible for forum moderators to view an account's IP address; they can only ban the IPs of accounts (or wildcard addresses) and any other forum accounts that may have used the same IP (an anti-spam measure).

The cookie IP does not interfere with the usage of VPNs and proxies, however doing so may prevent the account user from successfully using "Remember me" upon login, and may even lock your account if the IP address has been used previously by another user.

Database

2025-09-22T05:46:20Z

Grntbg: Created page with "The '''database''', more aptly known as the '''forum database''', is a MySQL-based relational database used by the esoBB software to manage accounts, conversations, posts and shouts, among other important functions, such as fingerprinting login/join requests. The current database used by Esoteric Chat was originally created for the forum while it was still named "geteso.org." However, the forum's original database contained separate accounts and..."

The '''database''', more aptly known as the '''forum database''', is a [[MySQL]]-based [[relational database]] used by the [[esoBB]] software to manage accounts, conversations, posts and [[shouts]], among other important functions, such as [[fingerprinting]] login/join requests.

The current database used by [[Esoteric Chat]] was originally created for the forum while it was still named "geteso.org." However, the forum's original database contained separate accounts and conversations, until the so-called [[Great Reset]] which began using a new database. As it stands, the current database has existed for 3 years and has undergone at least 5 changes to its [[schema]].

Old forum databases are [[archived]] using a read-only "archive" forum that is located at [[archive.geteso.org]]. However, these archive forums do not contain every conversation and/or post, due to periodic [[resets]] having destroyed some of them. As such, at least a dozen conversations have been permanently lost, with some others having being perserved on various [[archive sites]] by users.

Because the database stores account passwords in hashed form, they have never been compromised in plain-text form (the actual password). Instead, previous software changes demanded that each account reset their password.

The currently unreleased esoBB delta 3 is claimed by admin to contain the greatest number of changes made to the database yet, with the new ability for forum administrators to import/export their databases.

Ezoteric

2025-09-22T05:32:28Z

Grntbg: Created page with "'''Ezoteric''' and the '''Ezo-''' prefix (e.g. "ezodemocracy") pertain to an esoteric religion founded by Walter, the self-proclaimed "ideological crusader" of Esoteric Chat. "The Ezo ideology," as he describes it, can arguably be described as more of a cult, because Ezo itself does not explain the nature of religion. As such, some Homobros and even followers of Gop follow various mantic practices made popular by Walter and his influence over th..."

'''Ezoteric''' and the '''Ezo-''' prefix (e.g. "[[ezodemocracy]]") pertain to an [[esoteric]] religion founded by [[Walter]], the self-proclaimed "ideological crusader" of [[Esoteric Chat]]. "The Ezo ideology," as he describes it, can arguably be described as more of a cult, because Ezo itself does not explain the nature of religion. As such, some [[Homobros]] and even followers of [[Gop]] follow various mantic practices made popular by Walter and his influence over the forum.

[[Adolf Hitler]] and [[Alfred]] both made a splinter [[Discord]] community named [[Ezodemocracy]], the name being in reference to the Ezo ideology.

Ezo is sometimes used to refer directly to Esoteric Chat, however almost always pertains to the forum as a [[literal forum]] where people communicate philosophical virtues, rather than as a website. Walter has previously stated that the website is simply one of many ways to interact with Ezo, reasoning that it exerts a force upon all things within nature.

The scientific accuracy of this belief system was once criticized heavily by [[Dwight Schrute]], among others. [[Michael Moriarty]] is said to have privately claimed that the ideology is nothing more than "crack nonsenae" used to "couch the forum within some kind of meaningful belief system when it is, in fact, just an [[Internet]] website." Others, such as [[admin]], do not acknowledge the belief and instead regard it as regular enthusiasm for the forum.

Some of the more strict Ezoteric adherents are in direct opposition with the [[Clydeian Rouge]] because they, unlike the Clydeians, firmly believe in the elevated spiritual status of [[Simon Zerner]], who they claim to not be dead and instead "ascended into the astral plane in which [[data|DataLink]] and physical reality are one and the same; where the forum's [[database]] represents [[true nature]]." (This quote has been attributed to numerous authors; it is since believed to have originated from within the [[DataLink]] organization as a [diversity statement].)

Dolbeson

2025-09-22T05:16:42Z

Grntbg: Created page with "'''Dolbeson''' is, seemimgly, a kind of quality which can be applied to days on an individual basis. Days are typically separated between days which have Dolbeson and those which do not. Georgehannsen first made reference to Dolbeson among the earliest of his schizophrenic writings. Later on, Akefu Brewer made repeated reference to Dolbeson in his posts. The original phrase, "There will be no Dolbeson today," is used by Ezoteric adherents in reference to..."

'''Dolbeson''' is, seemimgly, a kind of quality which can be applied to days on an individual basis. Days are typically separated between days which have Dolbeson and those which do not. [[Georgehannsen]] first made reference to Dolbeson among the earliest of his schizophrenic writings. Later on, [[Akefu Brewer]] made repeated reference to Dolbeson in his posts.

The original phrase, "There will be no Dolbeson today," is used by [[Ezoteric]] adherents in reference to something happening that, according to [[Walter]], will make the "Ezo ideology" a worldwide doctrine, and every aspect of life will be conducted using the philosophies of the [[esoTalk]] forum software and its creators, [[Simon Zerner|Simon]] and [[Toby Zerner]]. As such, the converse phrase, "There will be Dolbeson today," implies that the prophecy has come true, however most Ezo adherents do not believe that it has yet happened. The exact date and nature of the prophecy is considered to be a matter of great speculation, with some believing that even attempting to estimate its true date will incur [[Clyde]]'s wrath.

User talk:Marksman

2025-08-22T18:14:52Z

Grntbg: Welcome!

'''Welcome to ''Esoteric Wiki''!'''
We hope you will contribute much and well.
You will probably want to read the [https://www.mediawiki.org/wiki/Special:MyLanguage/Help:Contents help pages].
Again, welcome and have fun! [[User:Grntbg|Grntbg]] ([[User talk:Grntbg|talk]]) 18:14, 22 August 2025 (UTC)

User:Marksman

2025-08-22T18:14:52Z

Grntbg: Creating user page for new user.

all work and no play makes jack a dull boy

Michael Moriarty

2025-01-17T08:00:35Z

Grntbg:

[[Category:esoTalk]]
[[Category:Schizoid Arena]]
[[Category:Total Freedom]]
[[File:Moriarty_2004.jpg|250px|thumb|right|A photo of Michael Moriarty circa 2004.]]
[[File:Moriarty 2019.jpeg|200px|thumb|right|One of the last known photos of Michael, taken in 2011.]]
'''Michael Moriarty''' (5 April 1941 – 20 March 2024), more commonly known by his username '''Longo''' or simply '''Moriarty''', was a Canadian actor best known for his role as Benjamin Stone on the television show ''Law & Order''. He was also one of the first moderators on [[Esoteric Chat]], and a prolific creator of conversations during a period in which the forum became popular. In addition to this, he was also present on several other communities, namely [[Total Freedom]] and [[The Right Server]].

According to both [[John Mosley]] and Longo himself, he was a real-life friend of Mosley's who lived in [[Tulsa]], was in his thirties and happily married. [[Corona]] eventually came to suspect that Longo was just another alt account of Mosley's, while the rest of the community did not believe this to be the case until much later. In fact, he always was a real person.

==Esoteric Chat==
On 6 April 2021, Longo became moderator on [[Esoteric Chat]] after being "tasked with the utmost responsibility of cleaning this forum up." He was, at the time, the third moderator (excluding ex-mods) after [[current_]] and [[Corona]], respectively. Just a few months later, the forum began experiencing an influx of new users and so Longo became regarded by the new community as an [[oldfag]]. Longo also occupied a Discord account by the name of Michael Moriarty which was used to talk to Corona, among others, and had a presence in various community servers, including [[The Right Server]]. In July, [[John Mosley|Mosley]] vc'd with Corona using both his main account and the Michael Moriarty account, through which Corona heard him typing as Moriarty and so it became evident that this account was part of his forum [[centipede]].

Longo became the subject of many running jokes on the forum, including the phrase "Lingo Longo plays the bongos," which in some form or another has been mentioned in 14 conversations as of thus.

===mudd===
The ''mudd'' account was created on 30 December 2021. It began with the creation of generic posts that had little substance and eventually graduated to new conversations regarding the state of the forum. Mudd's typing style gradually changed from all-lowercase, partial sentence informality into the proper sentences which made up most of Longo's postings. As such, [[Khaleeb]] and others began to establish that Mudd was an alt account of Longo, and thus [[John Mosley|Mosley]], although this latter fact was not known to the widespread community at the time.

The consensus of the forum's community as to whether Longo is mudd, although having readily pushed by Khaleed and others, remains unclear. Several members, such as [[Brian Krebs]], argued that mudd was an alt account of [[Adolf Hitler]].

==Death==
For several years prior to his death, Michael suffered from a series of cardiovascular incidents which impaired his ability to communicate and live on his own. Michael's final stroke incident occurred in August 2023 after which it became evident from reading his forum posts and [[Discord]] messages that he had become impaired. During the few months after this, Michael began to show signs of progress, attributed to the extensive recovery he had been undergoing.

On March 19 2024, Michael sustained a hemorrhagic stroke incident which severely impaired his consciousness and physical health. A day later, on the evening of March 20, Michael passed away. The cause of his death was later ruled as the severe complications of the stroke he had sustained just a day beforehand.

File:Moriarty 2019.jpeg

2025-01-17T07:59:20Z

Grntbg:

Aryella

2025-01-17T07:26:58Z

Grntbg:

[[Category:Schizoid Arena]]
[[File:AryellaFaceSquare.png|150px|thumb|right|This is what her face looks like.]]
'''Aryella''' (born 2004) was a member of the [[Schizoid Arena]] [[Discord server]] and the purported girlfriend of [[Pathseeker]]. She was born to French immigrants in the State of California. Among other things, she was instrumental in the downfall of Path's server after he decided to go inactive while maintaining ownership of the server, thus exacerbating the dwindling community before returning briefly to the server in December 2023. Since then, the server has become totally inactive and has lost its vanity link, /xat.

==Great n00dz leak of 2024==
Since [[Pathseeker]] has gone missing, we don't know exactly what happened, but it is safe to assume they had a fallout (they're both mentally unstable) which lead to Path sharing a picture of her with her tits out, "I'M SORRY PATH" inscribed on chest. Her face was leaked on [[Giphy]] by a member of an unaffiliated server and has since been shared around [[Schizoid Arena]].

In summation, [[E-dating|online relationships]] are pretty fucking pathetic. Pathseeker not only fucked his over community in pursuing an online female, but also leaked her nudes, fucking her over as well.

File:Moriarty 2004.jpg

2025-01-17T07:23:46Z

Grntbg:

User talk:MrEgg

2024-11-13T17:56:25Z

Grntbg: Welcome!

User:MrEgg

2024-11-13T17:56:25Z

Grntbg: Creating user page for new user.

Just wait till' i have sex with your mawm then you'll be real fokken mad

Shitscord

2024-11-11T10:43:40Z

Grntbg:

[[Category:General subjects]]
''This article was written by a [[John Mosley|fucking hypocrite]] that uses Discord anyway, so do with that what you will.''

'''Discord''' (also known as Shitscord, Pisscord, Fagscord, Niggerscord) is a '''FUCKING HONEYPOT''' for personal information owned by [[Microsoft]][[Jude|✡︎]] that is used by [[gaymer|gaymers]] and [[faggot|faggots]] to share funny lulz online. It is technologically inferior to [[MessengerGeek|literally any other messaging platform]] and yet it is popular enough to serve as the go-to for online communities to fling shit at each other. The only good thing that Discord has done for the Internet is that it has made voice calls marginally more convenient than they were before, but this can also be perceived as a bad thing, knowing that most voice calls on Discord are used by [[groomer|groomers]] to fuck with the heads of prepubescent pre-teens.

Anybody who knows anything about technology should know that Discord becoming the go-to platform for online conversation is terrible for privacy and security. Richard Stallman[[Jude|✡︎]] [https://stallman.org/discord.html also hates it], if the contempt of that grouchy old kike even means anything. In conclusion, the only thing that Shitscord is good for is [[The raids|ræding]].

==History==
Discord was founded by Jason Citron[[Jude|✡︎]] and Stan Vishnevskiy (Ukrainian-American dual citizenship) as a platform for [[gaymer|gaymers]] to talk to each other. In the beginning, it was just that, but it was not before long that other people swarmed in and helped create the toxic cesspool that it is today. Discord was, however, used by [[faggot|faggots]] from the very beginning, and the corporate message has always consisted of the pro-faggotry that's reflected by the platform's use as a tool for grooming kids.

==Discord server==
A '''serber''' (known to developers and early birds as a ''guild'') is an individual community on Discord. Yes, the name "server" is misleading, as it gives you the illusion that there is some form of decentralization on this shitty platform, which there is not. Kikecord exercises full and total control over your community, and can delete it at any time without giving a reason. [[The Right Server|Many such cases!]]

===Notable Shitscord servers===
Here is a list of noteworthy Shitscord servers that have their own articles on the wiki. Coincidentally they have all somehow bit the dust after being mentioned in this wiki... that's weird, huh.

1. [[Schizoid Arena]], the source of many [[lolcow|lolcows]] and laughs. Oldfags of this server mostly came from [[Flirt]] until [[John Mosley|some faggot]] had to ruin the whole thing. [[Aryella|A bitch]] killed it, lol.
2. [[The Right Server|The Wrong Server]] was full of Nazi [[Larp|LARPing]] faggots even though it's funny to look back upon how schlomo freaked out about it.
3. The [[Total Logdom|Total Sad-DOM]] Discord server AKA "heavily moderated shithole" where [[Ryan Wild]] groomed many a children into trying to give him fellatio, but his penis is too far gone that it's futile.
4. [[Esoteric Server|Our own server]]... okay, maybe we are all a bunch of fucking retarded hypocrite bastards.

==Moderation==
The average Dischode moderator is a beastiality-promoting pedophile furry [[faggot]] who <s>jokes</s> brags about fucking his dog and then tries to [https://twitter.com/super6plx/status/1436729678467723266 play it off as a joke] after getting the police called on zit. Discord has an especially vague set of [https://discord.com/guidelines Community Guidelines], paired with a Terms of Service that strips an individual user of all rights to his own personal information, and this is used to allow moderators to delete servers without having to supply an actual reason. Even if they were somehow compelled to defend their decision, they could just point to the age-old scapegoat of hate speech or some other shit like that.

Despite this, there are a gross number of communities on Discord which are either in violation of that very same policy or may go so far as to break the law, with some of them being partnered with Discord. There is, and always has been, a huge problem with grooming children on this app.

It now looks like Discord servers are getting deleted ''and'' all the members of that server in turn banned from the platform as well. This, coupled with the downgrades being made to the user interface, indicate that Discord probably won't be the "hot thing" for very much longer.

Esoteric Chat

2024-11-08T18:11:59Z

Grntbg:

[[Category:esoTalk]]
[[Category:Serious]]
'''Esoteric Chat''' (formerly known as esoTalk, esoForum, geteso, geteso.org, gete.so) is a discussion board created using the [[esoBB]] forum software without any central topic or theme.

Esoteric Chat was created in 2018 by [[John Mosley]] in order to hold conversations with friends from high school with the name [[esoTalk]]. The first users to join the forum were either real-life acquaintances of Mosley or found the website through [[Total Freedom]]. As such, early conversations on the forum were somewhat topical. The subject matter of these conversations came to be understood by a select group of users, thus leading to the term "esoteric" being used in reference to the forum. (The "eso" in esoTalk developed a second meaning.) Over time, more users began to join the forum either from neighboring discussion boards on which the forum was mentioned, such as [[MessengerGeek]], or through search engines. Alas, the majority of early users were part of a [[centipede]] operated by the webmaster.

==History==
The creator of the forum, [[John Mosley]], first discovered the [[esoTalk]] forum software in 2011 and created an account on the [[esoTalk support forum]] early in that year. He created his own private forum using the software a few weeks after joining the support forum. After January 2012, a complete rewrite of the software undergone by [[Toby Zerner]] and [[Thirtysixway]] led to the appearance and functionality of the forum software being drastically changed. Mosley continued to operate his private forum using the esoTalk beta 2 release of the software until it was deleted two years later.

On February 22 2018, Mosley created another forum by the name of "esoTalk" using the beta 2 software and with the [[Freenom|free domain]] ''esotalk.ga''. Shortly thereafter, the name of the forum was changed to ''esoForum'' at the request of [[Toby Zerner]], who also relinquished copyright of the [[eso|old esoTalk logo]] to Mosley and gave permission for the beta 2 codebase to be further developed into a fork of the software that later became known as [[esoBB]]. Mosley purchased the domain ''esotalk.net'' and began hosting the forum outside of his own residence. The second account created on the forum was used to test e-mail verification, however this account was later deleted entirely. The first real user to sign up was [[Pramire]], an acquaintance of Mosley who went on to co-develop the [[UnraveledMC]] Minecraft server. Not long after, about a dozen members of the [[Total Freedom]] community joined the forum.

===2018-2020: Prophetfags===
Users that signed up from February 2018 until the end of 2020 are referred to as [[prophetfag|prophetfags]]. The conversations started by these users tend to revolve around subjects only understood by the community to which those users belonged. [[Billiam Kush]], [[Dominic]] and [[amougies]] are all examples of notable users from this era who started conversations that lasted until the Great Reset or have maintained relevancy to this day.

The majority of prophetfags either originated from Total Freedom or were otherwise introduced to the forum by fellow high school students of [[Edison Preparatory School]].

===2021: Oldfags===
By 2021, the forum had already established a relatively large number of posts thus giving the appearance of a website consisting of substantial content. [[Adolf Hitler]] joined the forum on January 21 2021 after being linked to the site by [[John Mosley]] on the [[Total Freedom]] server. [[Akefu Brewer]] joined the forum shortly thereafter after learning about it from Hitler.

During this period, multiple [[centipede|centipedes]] were created, which substantially altered the frequency of new posts and conversations on the forum. The subject matter of conversations also changed substantially, going from consisting of harmless inside jokes to [[Eso|more esoteric]] subjects. The forum's rules were altered in order to further encompass the freedom of speech and dissuade the excessive moderation of posts. This change was probably made in reaction to the authoritarian shift that had occurred on Total Freedom not long before.

===The first ad wave===

==Security==

Esoteric Chat

2024-11-08T18:07:07Z

Grntbg:

[[Category:esoTalk]]
[[Category:Serious]]
'''Esoteric Chat''' (formerly known as esoTalk, esoForum, geteso, geteso.org, gete.so) is a discussion board created using the [[esoBB]] forum software without any central topic or theme.

Esoteric Chat was created in 2018 by [[John Mosley]] in order to hold conversations with friends from high school with the name [[esoTalk]]. The first users to join the forum were either real-life acquaintances of Mosley or found the website through [[Total Freedom]]. As such, early conversations on the forum were somewhat topical. The subject matter of these conversations came to be understood by a select group of users, thus leading to the term "esoteric" being used in reference to the forum. (The "eso" in esoTalk developed a second meaning.) Over time, more users began to join the forum either from neighboring discussion boards on which the forum was mentioned, such as [[MessengerGeek]], or through search engines. Alas, the majority of early users were part of a [[centipede]] operated by the webmaster.

==History==
The creator of the forum, [[John Mosley]], first discovered the [[esoTalk]] forum software in 2011 and created an account on the [[esoTalk support forum]] early in that year. He created his own private forum using the software a few weeks after joining the support forum. After January 2012, a complete rewrite of the software undergone by [[Toby Zerner]] and [[Thirtysixway]] led to the appearance and functionality of the forum software being drastically changed. Mosley continued to operate his private forum using the esoTalk beta 2 release of the software until it was deleted two years later.

On February 22 2018, Mosley created another forum by the name of "esoTalk" using the beta 2 software hosted on the domain ''esotalk.ga'' using a [[Freenom|free domain provider]]. Shortly thereafter, the name of the forum was changed to ''esoForum'' at the request of [[Toby Zerner]], who also relinquished copyright of the "[[eso]]" icon to Mosley and gave permission for the beta 2 codebase to be further developed into a fork of the software that later became known as [[esoBB]]. The second account created on the forum was used to test e-mail verification, and this account was later deleted entirely. The first real user to sign up was [[Pramire]], an acquaintance of Mosley who went on to co-develop the [[UnraveledMC]] Minecraft server. Shortly after, about a dozen members of the [[Total Freedom]] community joined the forum.

===2018-2020: Prophetfags===
Users that signed up from February 2018 until the end of 2020 are referred to as [[prophetfag|prophetfags]]. The conversations started by these users tend to revolve around subjects only understood by the community to which those users belonged. [[Billiam Kush]], [[Dominic]] and [[amougies]] are all examples of notable users from this era who started conversations that lasted until the Great Reset or have maintained relevancy to this day.

The majority of prophetfags either originated from Total Freedom or were otherwise introduced to the forum by fellow high school students of [[Edison Preparatory School]].

===2021: Oldfags===
By 2021, the forum had already established a relatively large number of posts thus giving the appearance of a website consisting of substantial content. [[Adolf Hitler]] joined the forum on January 21 2021 after being linked to the site by [[John Mosley]] on the [[Total Freedom]] server. [[Akefu Brewer]] joined the forum shortly thereafter after learning about it from Hitler.

During this period, multiple [[centipede|centipedes]] were created, which substantially altered the frequency of new posts and conversations on the forum. The subject matter of conversations also changed substantially, going from consisting of harmless inside jokes to [[Eso|more esoteric]] subjects. The forum's rules were altered in order to further encompass the freedom of speech and dissuade the excessive moderation of posts. This change was probably made in reaction to the authoritarian shift that had occurred on Total Freedom not long before.

===The first ad wave===

==Security==

Corona

2024-11-08T17:53:22Z

Grntbg:

[[Category:esoTalk]]
[[Category:Schizoid Arena]]
[[Category:Total Freedom]]
[[File:Corona_profile.gif|350px|thumb|right|The avatar used by Corona (as Adolf Hitler) on [[geteso]].]]

'''Corona''' (also known as: CoronaIsCool, GigaHacer, Adolf Hitler) is a freelance developer and former moderator of [[Esoteric Chat]]. On the forum, he went by several usernames however is most well known in the community as '''Adolf Hitler'''. He is also known in other communities such as [[Total Freedom]] and [[Schizoid Arena]] for trolling antics.

Corona's little brother [[berd|Alfred]] has also been a longstanding member of the forum, thus inspiring both of them to work together in creating the [[Tormater Forum]] software.

==History==
Corona joined [[Esoteric Chat]] on January 21 2021 after being invited to the forum by its creator, [[John Mosley]] (admin) while playing on [[Total Freedom]] during the time in which Mosley was an administrator on the server. Shortly afterward, he became a forum moderator and was responsible for overseeing the [[Great Influx]] of users from [[4chan]] that occurred a few months later from the time of his joining. After first joining the forum, he began creating numerous alt accounts, or a self-described [[centipede]], used to emulate real discussion on the site, much having to do with obscure topics such as [[Georgehannsen]] and [[Neilseph Guard]]. As such, Corona quickly became enthralled with the history of the forum, often making references to older conversations.

As Moderator, Corona supported the forum's growth as new users were created and the community became larger. He was responsible for introducing [[Akefu Brewer]] to the forum, a friend of his that he met on Roblox some time earlier. Akefu initially emulated the typing style and online mannerisms of Corona before "coming into his own." Many of the forums's [[eso]]teric jokes originate from Corona and his posts. On May 21 2021, the mainline forum was modified to allow for member groups to be changed from the profile view. Corona, being the first person to test this feature, used it as an opportunity to give Administrator to one of his alt accounts. He shortly thereafter used this account to upload a self-made plugin to the forum that was discovered a few weeks later and led to his removal from Moderator.

In 2023, Corona was given Moderator once again under the username Adolf Hitler. From late 2023 until the start of November 2024, Corona participated heavily in the [[Esoteric Server]] alongside [[Elaine]]. Over time, he became more involved in the [[Xat]] community through an infatuation with [[Willie]], and eventually, Elaine took to trolling Willie by sending pizzas to his address. After Elaine was banned from the server for doxxing, Corona left as well, followed shortly by his little brother.

==On other communities==
Having found esoTalk from [[Total Freedom]] and participated in [[the raids]] conducted by other users, he has participated in several other communities throughout the course of his presence on the forum.

===Total Freedom===
Corona was instrumental in conducting some of the raids against [[Total Freedom]] during the [[Total Freedom Raids|Great Raid]]. Mosley and Corona were responsible for the majority of the raids, with other users playing a small part in the procuring of alt accounts and copypastas that were spammed on the server. Despite this, Corona was the last player to be perm-banned from the server after [[VideoGameSmash12]] noticed that he had remained on the server long after the raids came to an end. This stands as a testament to the stupidity of the server's administration. [[Akefu Brewer]] did not actually participate the raids, however [[Akefu Raider]] (a caricature of Brewer) was "conducting" the raids.

On occasion, [[Schizoid Arena|xat users]] have joined [[Total Freedom]] to poke fun at [[Ryan Wild]] for being fat, among other things. The Total Freedom Discord server has since become so heavily safeguarded that it is near impossible for new users to join the server. '''Looks like this finally took its toll now that the server's dead.'''

===Schizoid Arena===
During October 2022, Corona was invited to the [[Schizoid Arena]] Discord server by [[John Mosley|Mosley]] (who, at that time, was going by the name of ''inpace'') after having been given an invite to the server by a member of [[geteso]]. Later that month, he [[Akefu Raider|raided the everloving shit]] out of the server before getting banned from it. He was later unbanned (seeing as the server winds up deleted every month or so) and has continued to have a sporadic presence in the community. Akefu's endless supply of alts continues to infest the general chat and there is no sign that the raids are ever going to stop.

==Online "relationships"==
Despite claiming to be asexual, Corona exhibits an obvious desire for sexually-driven conversation with girls online. He is a stringent defender of pedophilia and incest, claiming to have had a crush on his female cousin while growing up. Furthermore, he has alluded to numerous sexual idiosyncracies in the past as part of his [[asocial]] behavior.

===Zolly===
Corona first met [[Zolly]] after being invited to Schizoid Arena by Mosley. After sharing [[Akefushop|Akefushops]] and conducting a brief raid of the server, they befriended each other and quickly became part of a group chat that included, among others: [[John Mosley|Crabmin]], [[Haxxing]], [[Cessna]], [[berd|his little brother]], and of course Zolly. After recently ending a relationship with [[Ethan]], Zolly turned to Corona as a source of entertainment and friendship, but as time went by, they gradually became disinterested in one another.

In the course of their relationship, Corona revealed several things that were once personal to him. He claims to have gotten a [[gooning|boner]] while watching a documentary in middle school about the [[Holocaust]]. He also claims to have fantasized about being devoured by a [[Haxxing|werewolf]].

===Lili===
''to be added''

===Elaine===
Through a [[Discord server]] that was created to troll [[Edward McCarthy]], of which [[Lili]] was also part, Corona became acquainted with [[Elaine]] for the first time. They gradually began private messaging each other and thus gradually cultivated a relationship. Corona then exposed Elaine to the Esoteric Chat community, allowing her to become an active participant on both the server and forum.

Elaine has displayed hostility towards other members, namely Zolly, presumably because Corona once crushed on her. On November 3 2024, she was banned from the server for sharing the personal information of other members of the community.

==Gallery==
<gallery widths="250px" heights="300px" class="center">
Corona1.png|Corona wearing a pair of sunglasses after [[John Mosley|Shitpace]] (pictured as [[Mr. Fish]]) wore his own pair.
edward1.jpeg|A selfielol faggot taken outside atop a gravel bed or some shit. '''Just kidding, that's [[Edward McCarthy]], but they look so much alike that it really doesn't matter!'''
</gallery>

Corona

2024-11-07T21:12:17Z

Grntbg:

[[Category:esoTalk]]
[[Category:Schizoid Arena]]
[[Category:Total Freedom]]
[[File:Corona_profile.gif|350px|thumb|right|The avatar used by Corona (as Adolf Hitler) on [[geteso]].]]

'''Corona''' (also known as: CoronaIsCool, GigaHacer, Adolf Hitler) is a freelance developer and former moderator of [[Esoteric Chat]]. On the forum, he went by several usernames however is most well known in the community as '''Adolf Hitler'''. He is also known in other communities such as [[Total Freedom]] and [[Schizoid Arena]] for trolling antics.

Corona's little brother [[berd|Alfred]] has also been a longstanding member of the forum, thus inspiring both of them to work together in creating the [[Tormater Forum]] software.

==History==
Corona joined [[Esoteric Forum]] on January 21 2021 after being invited to the forum by its creator, [[John Mosley]] (admin) while playing on [[Total Freedom]] during the time in which Mosley was an administrator on the server. Shortly afterward, he became a forum moderator and was responsible for overseeing the [[Great Influx]] of users from [[4chan]] that occurred a few months later from the time of his joining. After first joining the forum, he began creating numerous alt accounts, or a self-described [[centipede]], used to emulate real discussion on the site, much having to do with obscure topics such as [[Georgehannsen]] and [[Neilseph Guard]]. As such, Corona quickly became enthralled with the history of the forum, often making references to older conversations.

As Moderator, Corona supported the forum's growth as new users were created and the community became larger. He was responsible for introducing [[Akefu Brewer]] to the forum, a friend of his that he met on Roblox some time earlier. Akefu initially emulated the typing style and online mannerisms of Corona before "coming into his own." Many of the forums's [[eso]]teric jokes originate from Corona and his posts. On May 21 2021, the mainline forum was modified to allow for member groups to be changed from the profile view. Corona, being the first person to test this feature, used it as an opportunity to give Administrator to one of his alt accounts. He shortly thereafter used this account to upload a self-made plugin to the forum that was discovered a few weeks later and led to his removal from Moderator.

From late 2023 until the start of November 2024, Corona participated heavily in the [[Esoteric Server]] alongside [[Elaine]]. Over time, he became more involved in the [[Xat]] community through an infatuation with [[Willie]], and eventually, Elaine took to trolling Willie by sending pizzas to his address. After Elaine was banned from the server for doxxing, Corona left as well, followed shortly by his little brother.

==On other communities==
Having found esoTalk from [[Total Freedom]] and participated in [[the raids]] conducted by other users, he has participated in several other communities throughout the course of his presence on the forum.

===Total Freedom===
Corona was instrumental in conducting some of the raids against [[Total Freedom]] during the [[Total Freedom Raids|Great Raid]]. Mosley and Corona were responsible for the majority of the raids, with other users playing a small part in the procuring of alt accounts and copypastas that were spammed on the server. Despite this, Corona was the last player to be perm-banned from the server after [[VideoGameSmash12]] noticed that he had remained on the server long after the raids came to an end. This stands as a testament to the stupidity of the server's administration. [[Akefu Brewer]] did not actually participate the raids, however [[Akefu Raider]] (a caricature of Brewer) was "conducting" the raids.

On occasion, [[Schizoid Arena|xat users]] have joined [[Total Freedom]] to poke fun at [[Ryan Wild]] for being fat, among other things. The Total Freedom Discord server has since become so heavily safeguarded that it is near impossible for new users to join the server. '''Looks like this finally took its toll now that the server's dead.'''

===Schizoid Arena===
During October 2022, Corona was invited to the [[Schizoid Arena]] Discord server by [[John Mosley|Mosley]] (who, at that time, was going by the name of ''inpace'') after having been given an invite to the server by a member of [[geteso]]. Later that month, he [[Akefu Raider|raided the everloving shit]] out of the server before getting banned from it. He was later unbanned (seeing as the server winds up deleted every month or so) and has continued to have a sporadic presence in the community. Akefu's endless supply of alts continues to infest the general chat and there is no sign that the raids are ever going to stop.

==Online "relationships"==
Despite claiming to be asexual, Corona exhibits an obvious desire for sexually-driven conversation with girls online. He is a stringent defender of pedophilia and incest, claiming to have had a crush on his female cousin while growing up. Furthermore, he has alluded to numerous sexual idiosyncracies in the past as part of his [[asocial]] behavior.

===Zolly===
Corona first met [[Zolly]] after being invited to Schizoid Arena by Mosley. After sharing [[Akefushop|Akefushops]] and conducting a brief raid of the server, they befriended each other and quickly became part of a group chat that included, among others: [[John Mosley|Crabmin]], [[Haxxing]], [[Cessna]], [[berd|his little brother]], and of course Zolly. After recently ending a relationship with [[Ethan]], Zolly turned to Corona as a source of entertainment and friendship.

Through the course of their relationship, Corona revealed several things that were once personal to him. He claims to have gotten a [[gooning|boner]] while watching a documentary in middle school about the Holocaust. He also claims to have fantasized about being devoured by a werewolf.

==Gallery==
<gallery widths="250px" heights="300px" class="center">
Corona1.png|Corona wearing a pair of sunglasses after [[John Mosley|Shitpace]] (pictured as [[Mr. Fish]]) wore his own pair.
edward1.jpeg|A selfielol faggot taken outside atop a gravel bed or some shit. '''Just kidding, that's [[Edward McCarthy]], but they look so much alike that it really doesn't matter!'''
</gallery>

Corona

2024-11-07T20:03:36Z

Grntbg:

File:Edward1.jpeg

2024-11-07T20:01:44Z

Grntbg:

File:Corona1.png

2024-11-07T19:56:10Z

Grntbg:

Edward McCarthy

2024-11-07T19:54:17Z

Grntbg: Created page with "'''Edward Daniel McCarthy''' (born 2003) is some gay faggot lolcow that nobody really cares about except for Corona and his bitch of a girlfriend, Elaine."

'''Edward Daniel McCarthy''' (born 2003) is some [[faggot|gay faggot]] [[lolcow]] that nobody really cares about except for [[Adolf Hitler|Corona]] and his bitch of a girlfriend, [[Elaine]].

EzoForum

2024-11-07T19:44:28Z

Grntbg: Created page with "Category:esoTalk Category:Xat '''Elaine''' (born 2004) is a member of Esoteric Forum. She is most notable for being the e-grillfiend of Adolf Hitler, better known in this context as Corona. Corona first met Elaine on a Discord server dedicated to annoying and making fun of an individual by the name of Edward McCarthy. His girlfriend at the time, Lili, also participated in this server and actively conversed with Elaine before ther..."

[[Category:esoTalk]]
[[Category:Xat]]
'''Elaine''' (born 2004) is a member of [[Esoteric Forum]]. She is most notable for being the [[e-girl|e-grillfiend]] of [[Adolf Hitler]], better known in this context as Corona.

Corona first met Elaine on a [[Discord server]] dedicated to annoying and making fun of an individual by the name of [[Edward McCarthy]]. His girlfriend at the time, [[Lili]], also participated in this server and actively conversed with Elaine before there existed any relationship between her and Corona. Elaine began privately messaging Corona and eventually cultivated a relationship with him. In response to this, Lili began arguing with Elaine about their various relationships with Corona, like two "females" pulling at him with opposite force, and they continue to feud with each other to this day.

Elaine [[LARP|pretends]] to be 15 years old, which is much younger than she actually is. She currently attends a public college in the pursuit of a degree. Because of the [[grooming|pedophilic]] nature of a relationship with an apparent child, [[Zolly]] broke off her friendship with [[Corona]]. On November 3 2024, Elaine was caught breaking the [[global rules]] by trying to share Zolly's personal information after having sent numerous [[pizza delivery|pizza deliveries]] to [[Willie]] and then blaming it on [[Haxxing]]. For this, she was subsequently banned from the [[Esoteric Server]], and in response, Corona and his [[Berd|gay little brother]] decided to leave the server as well.

EsoBB

2024-09-06T16:13:34Z

Grntbg:

[[Category:esoTalk]]
[[Category:Forum software]]
[[Category:Serious]]
[[File:esoBB.png|350px|thumb|right|The default installation of esoBB delta 1.]]
'''esoBB''' (formerly known as '''esoForum for Projects''') is a light-weight forum application written in the PHP scripting language. Available under the GNU General Public License, esoBB is free and open-source.

Features of esoBB include the ability to categorize conversations (threads) by tags, a powerful search controller and a flat message structure (similar to [[phpBB]]) with support for quoting.

==History==
The esoBB project was started in March 2018 as a fork of the [[esoTalk]] forum software by the name ''esoTalk''. By November 16 2018, the domain "esotalk.net" was turned into a web forum named esoForum, which later became [[Esoteric Chat]]. The forum software originally served the purpose of a forum for Esoteric Chat and later developed into a fully-functional software package. A pre-release version of esoProjects was made available on March 19 2021. After the forum began advertising on [[4chan]] and other sites, several new members made contributions to the software code base.

===esoBB delta 1===
esoBB 1.0.0d1 (delta 1) was released on January 17 2022, making several improvements to the pre-release version and bug fixes.

===esoBB delta 2===
esoBB 1.0.0d2 (delta 2) was released on May 12 2023. It is the biggest update to the forum software ever made, and contains support for PHP 8.0 (commit 44105ba) in addition to the MySQLi (MySQL improved) driver (commit ad016b4). This makes setting up the form much easier, since the legacy driver is no longer required. Various quality of life improvements were also made, such as the addition of hooks for individual forum posts and the ability to use external SMTP settings.

===esoBB delta 3===
esoBB delta 3 is planned to be released sometime around July 2024. It will primarily focus on revising the administrator settings and the addition of a panel (similar to the ''Debug'' plugin) for comparing user information.

Geteso

2024-09-06T16:13:07Z

Grntbg: Redirected page to Esoteric Chat

#REDIRECT [[Esoteric Chat]]

Braapers

2024-09-06T16:05:40Z

Grntbg: Created page with "Category:esoTalk The '''Braapers''' consisted of several colonies that existed throughout Central Australia. They also represent the oldest sect of Homobroism and were the first to begin following Clyde Homobro. Braaper adherents are characterized by their strict adherence to the Book of Clyde. They are referenced in the Book as a group of colonies where Clyde first spread his word, before being exiled by the Straights."

[[Category:esoTalk]]
The '''Braapers''' consisted of several colonies that existed throughout Central Australia. They also represent the oldest sect of [[Homobroism]] and were the first to begin following [[Clyde Homobro]].

Braaper adherents are characterized by their strict adherence to the [[Book of Clyde]]. They are referenced in the Book as a group of colonies where Clyde first spread his word, before being exiled by the [[Straights]].

Tabular Convention

2024-09-04T16:37:59Z

Grntbg: Created page with "Category:esoTalk The '''Tabular Convention''' is a conspiracy group which claims to be responsible for most of the events on Esoteric Chat. According to the conspiracy, John Mosley is not actually responsible for the forum and instead serves as a middleman for Raymond Bernes, the leader of the Tabulars. The Tabulars were first mentioned by rbn in a thread which claimed to explain the actual state of things on the forum. Later, the account was suspe..."

[[Category:esoTalk]]
The '''Tabular Convention''' is a conspiracy group which claims to be responsible for most of the events on [[Esoteric Chat]]. According to the conspiracy, [[John Mosley]] is not actually responsible for the forum and instead serves as a middleman for [[Raymond Bernes]], the leader of the Tabulars.

The Tabulars were first mentioned by [[rbn]] in a thread which claimed to explain the actual state of things on the forum. Later, the account was suspended and Raymond Bernes took responsibility for it, thus confirming the premise of the thread.

Raymond Bernes

2024-09-04T16:34:32Z

Grntbg:

[[Category:esoTalk]]
'''Raymond Bernes''' is the supposed ringleader of the [[Tabular Convention]]. According to [[rbn]], Bernes is responsible for controlling the events on [[Esoteric Chat]]. There was also a forum account by the same name which claimed to be Bernes himself.